We accidentally left the car unlocked, I think. I mean there were no broken windows, no sign of forced entry. They didn’t steal anything as far as I can tell. I wouldn’t have even known if it weren’t for the mess they left after rummaging through the glove compartment. Luckily we don’t keep much in the car. We had been shopping for a camping trip this weekend and we had a brand new tent, two sleeping bags, an air mattress, and a chair, in the back. They either didn’t see it or thought trying to run off with those big boxes was too risky. All in all not much harm done, not financially anyway. The blow to our sense of safety and security though, devastating.
When we initially went out to the car after I had opened the passenger door and seen the mess on the seat, my first thought wasn’t a break in. At first I thought my girlfriend had made the mess. I jokingly asked her what she had been doing and she looked at me from the other side of the car with a confused expression. I still thought it had been her and maybe she forgot what she did. She came over to the passenger side and just stared at all the crap we had accumulated in the glove box that was now sitting in the seat. She looked up at me again and in almost a whisper said that she had not done that. We both stood there, shocked and staring, not knowing what to do next. After a moment I started scooping up our stuff and putting it back and throwing out the trash. We got into the car and neither of us knew what to say.
On the way to work, her driving and me in the passenger seat, all I could think about was that someone had been in our car. Someone had been through our things. They may have been sitting right where I was now sitting searching and trying to take something that belonged to ME! I was getting angry, I was scared, and I felt helpless. I would never know who did this and they might come back and try again, or worse, try to get into the house next time. I moved my hand over to the driver’s side to pat my girlfriend reassuringly on the leg. It would be ok, maybe this was a one time thing and considering everything, at least we were ok and the car wasn’t broken into more forcibly.
She felt bad though. She blamed herself for leaving the car open. She had went grocery shopping and when she got home we both helped bring the groceries in but she had had the keys. I don’t think it’s her fault, I blame both of us. Neither of us double checked the doors. Bigger than that though is that neither of us was worried about it. Sometimes I find myself panicked with fear tat a break in could occur. We are two women living alone in a neighborhood that isn’t the best. Other times I think it couldn’t happen to us. I get complacent and think once that front door is locked all is well, we are safe. Today I am panicked again and I am looking into some security options for us. Better locks, maybe some cameras, I don’t know. It all feels so overwhelming and I just wish I lived in a world where I didn’t have to feel like this.
I wish I could talk to the person who did this to us. I would start by telling them that stealing and trespassing is wrong, obviously. We work hard for what little we have and it’s unfair to take things that other people worked hard for. They made us feel scared. It feels like there is no where left to go now that I can just relax and feel safe. I am worried about how to protect my girlfriend and our home and what I would do if I couldn’t. They made us feel angry and it was a terrible start to our day and our week. They made us blame ourselves and think we had been so careless and stupid. I would tell them that there is so much pain and sadness in the world and they shouldn’t add to it. Everyone already has so much to worry about and struggle through and everyone needs a place that they can feel safe. We should never take that away from each other.