NaBloPoMo Prompt: How do you communicate best? Speaking or writing?
It doesn’t really matter whether I’m speaking or writing, I have trouble communicating either way. I am always trying to express myself but I have never feel like I have explained things well. I never walk away feeling like I have communicated exactly what I wanted to.
When I am talking I over explain. I talk too much and by the end of it the person listening doesn’t have any idea what I am trying to say. I get so frustrated and I often have to start my explanations all over again and try my best to keep it simple. When I keep it simple I feel like the other person hasn’t really seen things from my perspective. I want so much to be understood by other people. I think that’s why I over explain the way I do. I have to everyone everything about me and about how I feel and about why I feel the way I feel. It hurts that no one really wants to hear all that all the time. I think that’s why I write now. At least this way I can get it all out and I’m not hurt when people don’t read it. It feels good just to get it out.
When I write I communicate better but I am not a very good writer, not yet anyway. I write draft after draft and edit, edit, edit. My thoughts wander and by the end of any piece I am talking about something completely different from what I meant to talk about. I get more of my feelings out though and that feels good. I go back and rewrite it but I leave the free writing intact. The free writing is how I express myself, this blog and the edited posts are how I make myself understood to other people, bit by bit.
So I guess I need both. I need to talk to those closest to me, my girlfriend, my mother, my sisters, my few friends. They are the ones who will get me and give me the reassurance and comfort I often need. I need to write too so that I can see myself in comparison to the rest of the world. Blogging makes me feel like I’m not alone, like there are people out in the world who more than sympathize with me, they empathize. There are people who understand me in one way or another. I need that too.
So how about you? Writing or speaking, how do you communicate best?