I get it! You hate the cute kittens I brought home. They are in your space, playing with your toys, and trying to eat your food, and none of that is okay. I give them attention that I used to give you and that isn’t okay either. I understand how you’re feeling, really I do, but I need you to calm the fuck down, please?
I think you have forgotten what you were like when I first brought you home 10 years ago. You were just as annoying and frustrating but I was patient with you and now I love you very much. It could be them same with them if you would just make an effort. One day they will calm down and stop chewing things and running around, just like you did. Please try to understand, they are young and wild, but they are family too.
I also think that if you would just relax, they would leave you alone. I know they would. That only try to push your buttons because they know they can. It is a game to them and you are letting them win! Also if you would just relax I would stop having to spray all of you with the water bottle for getting all worked up and hissing and being complete assholes to each other.
Look, I love you and that is never going to change. I still want to make time for you everyday but you have to accept that the kittens are going to be here now too. I can pet you and them. I can sit with you and them. We can all cuddle in bed together too. All you have to do is fucking relax.
From your loving owner,