My mind is empty this morning and I don’t know what to write about. I’m usually a master at these free writing exercises. I mean I free write everyday. I have never really dealt with not having anything to write about. My secret is a quote I read once from Earnest Hemingway. He said “write hard and clear about what hurts”. If that fails I try to write as if I’m writing for someone I love. Those two ideas have gotten me through a lot of writers block but today even those strategies aren’t working.
I guess I am just tired. I woke up last night with a cough. The fit lasted for about an hour. The same thing happened the night before too. I don’t know what’s causing it but I suspect it has to do with a combination of allergies and smoking cigarettes. My girlfriend was sweet and got up to rub Vicks on me and make me a cup of tea. I was able to stop coughing after I’d finished the tea and I got back to sleep but the damage was already done. I knew I was not going to feel rested when it was time to get up for work.
Being tired like this is causing me to feel almost numb. Not good, not bad, just neutral and numb. I am uncaring, and that is what is causing writers block today. I guess you have to care about something in order to have something to express to the world. I admit that’s an interesting lesson to learn. How do you make yourself care when the mind is just too tired? While writing this I have paused multiple times to try to get inside my own mind. I’m trying to jump start it. I’m trying to get it riled up about something, anything! Every time I am met with nothing, just silence. I just want to sleep.
I am sure the weather is only making things worse. Today fall has decided to finally show it’s face and the clouds have rolled in. It’s dark and gloomy and a little chilly outside and we are expecting rain. Weather like this always saps my energy. I get a bit down and sleepy. Everyone is telling me to smile but I don’t have the energy. You ever notice how when your not in the mood to smile and people tell you to smile it makes you want to smile even less?
Everyone is also telling me that this is a beautiful time of year and I should be glad that the heat of the summer has passed. I don’t agree but I am tired of telling people that the clouds and cold depress me. I need sunshine and warm air to lift my spirits. They think I’m crazy. So now I just smile, nod, and agree. It’s less work that way and I save a little bit of the energy I need to make it through the day.
I think some food would be nice right now too. Something salty and greasy and not at all good for me! I had one of those Naked protien smoothie things for breakfast and while they do fill you up, they are not satisfying. I could really go for some potatoes, eggs, bacon, and cheese all piled up with maybe some peppers and a nice warm coffee. That would brighten my mood and get me writing! Oh now my mood has tipped just to the sad side of blah. I have nothing good to eat, I can’t take a nap, and the weather is not going to improve. I am stuck now.
But maybe not. I don’t want to feel like this, there has to be a way to cheer myself up. People always say that you choose your attitude everyday. I can’t change the things that are bringing me down but I might be able to do something. There is a Keurig in my bosses office, I could at least get a nice warm coffee. Maybe I could throw my headphones in and find some music to wake me up and get me moving. I might even try just wandering around my job and saying hi and good morning to everyone. Making others smile will definitely make me feel good.
For having nothing to write about I sure did type a whole lot of words. I already feel better just knowing I accomplished that. So now I’m off to cheer myself up, I hope you all have a beautiful day.
Free writing prompt came from both The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt and the Writing 101 course. I did write for more than 10 minutes but I didn’t edit except for obvious spelling errors I caught before hitting Publish.