What Inequality Has Meant to Me

Inequality means not bothering to propose to my girlfriend of 12 years because we can’t get “real married” anyway. Inequality means following every political debate hoping to hear a candidate say they support your right to marry the person you love. Inequality means also having to listen to all the politicians who don’t support your right say horrible things about your character. In equality means hearing them compare your love to bestiality and pedophilia.

Inequality means having to pay more for health insurance because you can’t put the person you love on your policy. Inequality means wondering who will get to make your medical decisions if something happened to you. Inequality means wondering what will happen to your home and your belongings should something happen to either of you. Inequality means wondering if you could have children one day and if you both get to be a legal parent. Inequality means you get all the paperwork in place to protect yourselves but in the back of your mind you know a judge could wipe it all away in court if her family decides to sue.

Inequality means having to “come out” over and over again to new friends and coworkers and wondering how they will react. Inequality means having people tell you to your face that they don’t understand your “choices”. Inequality means having people tell you that you DO have the same rights as everyone else because “you can marry a man”. Inequality is having people tell you these things without ever having to worry about the things you have to worry about.

Inequality is being told those things while also being fetishized. Inequality is have men ask you if they “can watch” or “join in”. Inequality is being hesitant to kiss your girlfriend in public because guys are watching. Inequality is being told on a regular basis that you just haven’t “had the right man yet”. Inequality is having to deal with random men hitting on your girlfriend in front of you because they don’t respect your relationship. Inequality is seeing her uncomfortable and feeling helpless and scared when nothing you say makes him stop.

Inequality also mean getting to be apart of the change and seeing new allies come forward everyday. Inequality means celebrating with your friends when the supreme court decides not to hear appeals and suddenly marriage equality is legal in your state. Inequality is tearing up when your family tells you they are happy that you can finally marry the girl of your dreams. Inequality is being grateful that your parents didn’t disown you for loving a woman. Inequality is seeing public opinion change and being happy, but at the same time, being sad it took so long and knowing that there is so much farther left to go.

Prompt via The Daily Post: Did you know today is Blog Action Day? Join bloggers from around the world and write a post about what inequality means to you. Have you ever encountered it in your daily life?


6 Replies to “What Inequality Has Meant to Me”

  1. Powerful stuff. You did bring a tear to my eye. I can and certainly cannot imagine the constant presence of this, like a sword hanging over you, just because you are who you are and who you love. The bright spot is that it does seem to be turning and faster than it “should” when compared to other social changes in history. I’ve heard it explained that part of that is the old farts are dying out and the younger generations don’t see things the same. I hope that is true. But it is the young ones who are probably telling you that they want to watch, you haven’t found the right man, etc. People…augh!

    I’m glad you wrote this.


    1. Thank you. Yes the times are changing and much faster than I ever thought they would. A few years ago I didn’t think I was going to ever see marriage equality happen and now it seems very soon the whole country will! It is an amazing time and a great weight is slowly being lifted off of me. Thank you for reading.


  2. So, you wrote many instances of inequality and explained them wonderfully. Let me ask, what is the true nature of inequality? You and I, are we the same or different, equal or not equal?


    1. Oh that is an easy one, we are different and we are equal. Every human life is equal in importance and everyone of us has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happines. We are all different though, but not as different as we think :)

      Liked by 1 person

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