Sometimes I Sound Like an Entitled Douche

Having grown up poor, by American standards, and gone through many hardships, I have always tried to be grateful for everything I have. Lately, as my financial situation has gotten better and I have noticed a bad habit creeping up on me. I have developed a habit for complaining about even the most minor of inconveniences.

Looking at my life from an objective point of view I see that I have a decent job, I have a wonderful girlfriend, I have friends and family, and I have all the necessities like a roof over my head, clean water, and plenty of food to sustain myself. Hell, I even have luxuries like an iPad, an Xbox, and a large sectional couch from Ikea.

Seeing my life that way I think “What the hell do I have to complain about?” but somehow, despite all that I still find myself uttering phrases such as “This is the worst!” and “Fuck my life!” over the pettiest things. Being a person who prides herself on being self aware I had to examine this new habit of mine. Why am I complaining more now that things are getting better?

So today I thought I’d put things into perspective and write about a few of the things that in the moment seem so unfair but looking at them now seem like nothing more than petty problems entitled pricks complain about.

#1. My phone battery never lasts as long as I want or “need” it to. I mean how can I be expected to make it through the day without being able to mindlessly scroll through Twitter or Tumblr for hours on end? What are these phone manufactures thinking? It’s 2014 people! We should have a better battery by now!

#2. The Chinese place I order from takes an entire hour to deliver my food. I am hungry now dammit and I will surely die soon if they don’t bring my food faster! I mean what the hell can they be doing the it takes a whole hour? I order from there all the time and I think they should implement some sort of “preferred customer” program where by my order moves immediately to the top of the list.

#3. I feel like more and more YouTube is forcing me to watch the ads that I can’t skip. I mean at first it wasn’t so bad, just wait 4 or 5 seconds then skip to your video, but now most of the ads are the 15-20 second ones that I can’t skip. I usually end up sitting through it but that’s not the point. The point is, I want to watch this video now! I don’t care about whatever stupid commercial for whatever stupid product it is that you want me to buy.

#4. My family keeps using my Netflix account and it’s really messing up my categories and my recommendations. Netflix thinks I like Phineas and Ferb, Family Guy, and The Kardashians. More and more I have to scroll through crappy “recently watched” and “recommended for you” movies to find something I actually like. My girlfriend was also watching her romantic movies on there too but she just made a new profile since I kept bitching. I just want my Netflix to be FOR ME!

#5. There is no Whole Foods on my side of town. The nearest one is about 20 minutes away but traffic is bad sometimes and it takes much longer. Why can’t the build a Whole Foods on my side of town huh? I hate having to go all that way when I’m out of coconut oil or hemp shampoo! On top of that, bonus first world problem #6, I go all the way out there and they are out of fig and goat cheese gelato! WTF?

So yeah sometimes I sound like an entitled douche. I think the more I have the more I feel like I should have. I am ENTITLED! I am doing my best to be aware of it and I promise you all I am very ashamed of myself when I act this way. It doesn’t happen often but every once in a while I too can be a spoiled brat.


One Reply to “Sometimes I Sound Like an Entitled Douche”

  1. You made me laugh. I wasn’t expecting THAT list of complaints! :) Real First World Problems you’re having. I started out upper middle class and am currently destitute. Problems look different going in that direction, too! :)


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.