One thing I love about my girlfriend is her ability to put up with my goofiness. I make it my mission everyday to make her either laugh or make her feel exhausted by me. If I make her laugh I feel good. If I exhaust or annoy her I laugh, and then I feel good. I go to great lengths and often look stupid just to get her to crack a smile. I do this because it brightens her day and keeps our relationship fun.
On thing I like to do is send her random text messages while she’s working about the stupid things I do or see during the day. I know she’s busy being a super serious supervisor but I believe she needs to smile more. I like to think I break up her day a little and get her mind out of the shit she has to put up with all day. I like to think that but I’m sure I just make her question her decision to marry me more than anything. Here’s today’s text I sent her:
Me: I bought this big thing of mozzarella cheese thinking I would eat it over the next few days......I already ate half of it :/ Her: Oh goodness Me: LOL my belly hurts Her: Oh goodness! Me: LOL and I'm your future wife! Her: Hmm... The wedding could be called off Me: Noooooooooo!
She hasn’t text back yet and I can only assume that means she is currently calling our families to tell them the news that the wedding is off. She just can’t marry someone who eats half a log of mozzarella cheese in 20 minutes. I can’t say I blame her.
Another thing I like to do is ruin her girly romantic comedies. One way I do this by waiting for the point when the guy and the girl finally realized they loved each other all along and my girlfriend is feeling all the emotions the I yell out “POUND TOWN!!!!”. Hahahaha I ruin the moment every time! I also like to ask her multiple time leading up to that moment when in fact are the guy and the girl going to have sex because the movie is boring and needs some sex to liven things up a bit. Haha she hates that.
And finally the thing I do that probably annoys my girlfriend the most is bothering her during the times when she is trying to be most private. For example, she’s in the bathroom…..on the toilet….she been in there for awhile….I get really close to the door and say “babe?”. She responds “yes?”, already sounding annoyed. I ask her if she’s ok and she says yes, sounding more annoyed. Then I get closer and whisper “babe?”. She responds again, “yes?”. The I ask “are you pooping?!”. At this point she starts yelling and telling me to go away. When she does finally come out of the bathroom the look on her face is all exasperation and anger. Pure comedy!
I also like to wait until she a good ten minutes into her shower and I walk in and pull back the curtain at least halfway and just start talking to her about the most mundane things, or I ask her a stupid question like “do you think this yogurt is still good?” or “what were you thinking about having for dinner”. Then I stare at her as creepily as I can until she gets so irritated she starts yelling. The great thing about this though is there’s nothing she can do to make me leave the bathroom! Bwahahaha!
How she puts up with me I don’t know. This is just a small sampling of the things I do to piss her off. I might even make this a regular post here. “The Ways in Which I Irritate My Girlfriend and Make Her Wonder Why The Hell She Is With Me” sounds like a great title. Underneath it all I think she appreciates it though. Without me I don’t think she would ever laugh. She needs me :)