Is There A Book (Or Two) In Me?

I’ve been thinking lately about writing. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do and where I am going with it. I know I am new to writing in general. I don’t really know what I am doing at all or how to do anything else, but I have been thinking for a very long time. I have always wished I could be a writer, I just never thought it was possible until recently. I thought writers had to go to collage and they came from rich families. I thought writers looked nothing like me.

You have to understand, as a teenager I had a lot of emotional issues. I was depressed and I didn’t care about much. I didn’t make it very far in high school. I dropped out in the 10th grade. I later got my GED and a job at Target and I figured that I was just going to be a nobody for the rest of my life. Without an education how could I do anything?

Throughout that whole time I journaled. I wrote many times a day and I hoped to one day turn my life into a book. I knew there were others out there like me and I wanted them to hear my story. But I was just some nobody who could barely spell or write a proper sentence so how was I going to do that? There was no way I could write a book. It was impossible!

So, eventually I stopped journalling too. I felt like it was going nowhere. But now things are different. Now anyone can write for the world and have their voices and stories heard. Hell, I’m doing it right now! There might not be a whole lot of people who are reading this but someone is. Maybe one day I might be able to reach more than a few someones. When that day comes I hope to have something more substantial to share. Something more interesting and meaningful.

I may still write that story about my life but there have always been a couple of other ideas floating around in my head. One for a non-fiction book about my love of math and science and what it can mean for the average person. I want to write in the style of an almost religious book. I want to emphasize the beauty and awe I found while learning about space and time, physics and mathematics.

The inspiration came from my mother when she told me she felt sorry for me because I was an Atheist. She said she wishes I believed in something more, something bigger than myself. What she didn’t understand was that belief wasn’t necessary. I KNEW there was something more out there, something much bigger than me. There was a whole universe of it and it was here billions of years before me and will be for billions of years after, but I could SEE it. It was real! I felt sorry for her for never having realized that. I want to write a book to help others see what I see. A world where a belief in a God isn’t necessary because there is wonder to be found all around us and it was not made, it just is!

The second book is actually a graphic novel. A story set in a distant dystopian future. It’s an epic journey type of thing. My initial inspiration was the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. My story is nothing like that but it’s the epic journey that made me want to write an epic journey. My second inspiration comes from Stephen King’s Dark Tower Series. Another epic journey and a bit of fantasy thrown in. I might throw a bit of fantasy into mine. Then, 1984, where my love of the dystopian future began. And finally just about every other graphic novel I have ever read has shaped the story in my head.

I don’t have a lot of details, and I am not sure if I am going to try this all on my own (part of me wants to) but I have a general idea. It’s fuzzy and the shape changes all the time but there are a few constants. My lead characters are all women. It is, after all, a story about women, about what women are capable of, for both good and evil. It is about family and what family are capable of, for good or for evil. And of course there is love, and there are friendships and sacrifice and redemption. Really in my mind it is amazing!

So I have been thinking more and more about this writing thing and wondering, in this day and age is there any reason why I can’t write a book? No the most certainly is not! So the first of my New Years resolutions is to start working on these projects almost as if writing were my second job. I might even look into taking a couple classes so I have a better idea of what exactly I am doing.

I don’t think this will happen for me for a long time. A few years or so at least but the ideas are the start. I could at the very least write out al the ideas I have so far, work on some characters, and read, read, read, as much as I can, for both inspiration and some how-to’s. I might fail but I think it is time I made an effort. I know I can do the writing, it’s the finding of readers that I’m worried about, but I guess that’s not something I need to worry about for a long while. Right now I just need to focus on learning and writing. Maybe this can really be something. Maybe…..


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