I have this work thing I’m supposed to go to after work today, maybe, if I decide to go. I hate after work, work things especially when there will be no booze and nothing but dry finger food. It’s only an hour of my time and it was sort of nice to be invited to it but still…..I don’t want to go.
The point of this work thing is to invite people who are supposedly outstanding in each department and get them to mingle with each other. My girlfriend says it’s networking and apparently it is important but I hate it. I don’t know these people and I don’t want to know them because I know they don’t really care about me much.
I’m younger than most of them and working in a “lower” position with not a whole lot of chance for advancement. My bosses acknowledge that I am an asset to the company but that is because I have worked hard to be the best at what I do and I also try to teach others to be as good as me.
Even with all of that though I will probably never move up unless I change positions. I have to move laterally to move up but the problem is I like where I am at and I would hate to move to another position, that I hate, for a chance, not a guarantee, to move up. So these people show very little interest in me.
The other reason I’m not sure I want to go is because all of the people on my training team are going and not all of them are as professional as I am. I don’t want to feel obligated to hang out in some corner with them while they complain and tell inappropriate jokes. Don’t get me wrong I am often seen complaining and telling inappropriate jokes right along with them but there is a time and a place for that and this isn’t it. I know that but some of them don’t.
So, if I go, there is a good chance I could be embarrassed or look stupid all by association with my own co-workers. I don’t need that at all, especially when we cause enough trouble for us all to constantly be on thin ice anyway. What if one of them says something stupid? Or starts dropping f-bombs within ear shot of some big wig higher-up?
Sigh, I know my team wouldn’t do that. Actually there is a small chance those things could happen but I doubt it. I think I am more worried about myself looking stupid or messing up. I don’t know how to talk to people in settings like this. I think maybe I don’t feel good enough to be there in the first place. Yeah, I’m just scared I guess.
I’ve learned that whenever you feel afraid of something it probably means that is something you need to do. So I think I might actually go to this thing tonight and try to talk to one or two people. I think that would be a nice personal accomplishment. Just have a short conversation with a few people, learn something new and tell people a few things about myself!
And now I am in panic mode and I have hours before this thing to think of all the worst case scenarios. Luckily work is keeping me busy and I think some headphones and some calming music might get me through. I’m also going to chat up my boss and maybe get a few pointers out of her about what the protocol and the proper etiquette is at these things.
Sigh, I’m definitely over thinking this….