If We Were Having Coffee – Exhausted, but Happy, and Even Writing Poetry

Oh man does coffee sound good today! The weather is really cold and snowy. I think we may have gotten 6 or 9 inches so far since this storm started yesterday. They predict we’ll get another 3 to 6 by tomorrow morning too. I have my fingers crossed they call a snow day but this is Colorado and we pride ourselves on being able to handle any weather Mother Nature throws at us. We rarely shut anything down here, life continues as if we are’t trudging through knee high snow to get from place to place.

If we were having coffee today I might need to take mine a bit stronger and in the biggest cup you have please, I am in need of the caffeine. I have been exhausted for a few days now but I assure you it is entirely my own fault. It all started last Thursday.

See last week I took it easy, only had to work 3 days, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I figured since it was a short week I could slack off a little bit. And since I was slacking off I didn’t need as much sleep so I could stay up, right? Then Thursday night we got invited out to a jazz place downtown.

The plan was to only have a couple of drinks, stay maybe an hour or two, then head home to bed. The problem was when I got there and saw how much fun everyone was having, I didn’t want to leave. I haven’t gotten to hang out much lately so I shut my rational self down and stayed out much later and drank more than I should’ve.

So Friday morning was a bit of a struggle. Thanks to my good friend Mr. Redbull I made it through the day but instead of coming home and catching up on the much needed sleep, I stayed up late again! Sleep sounded like a waste of time, I wanted to be doing things dammit! Nothing productive of course but I was up and conscious and that’s what I wanted.

Then I did the same last night and now I am drinking cup after cup of coffee trying to catch up of everything I slacked on the last few days. Writing, drawing, cleaning, I didn’t do any of it. I wanted to spend hours not doing anything worth doing. I played Xbox and watched TV and scrolled Twitter. I regret nothing!

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I have come to my senses now and returned to the real world. I may be stuck in the house due to weather but I will try not to let myself get to lazy. I am going to get stuff done.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that my mood has been pretty good lately. But I am also feeling bored and that is making me depressed. I am not very happy with the long hours I spend at my day job and I have the option of cutting back a little bit. I want to in order to focus more on writing and art but I am scared and reluctant to disappoint my bosses.

I have always wanted to do my own thing and maybe turn it into a business but being a grown up has gotten in the way of me doing the things that I love. I used to draw all the time and now I struggle to get the creative juices flowing. This is not how I want to be. Even if it means less money, I would rather be a creative person, an artist, than a worker bee.

That means making some tough choices soon and decided what matters more to me and what I can and cannot do. And once I start down a path there will be little chance of turning around.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that trying my hand a writing poetry last week was pretty fun. I learned that it isn’t quite as impossible a thing as I had thought it was. I don’t pretend that mine or all that great but they aren’t as shitty as I thought they would be, but I am still keeping the Shitty Poetry tag for now. It makes me smile.

If we were having coffee I would have to grab another to go and head out, I have a bunch of stuff to do today and I have to utilize the energy I have now. Thank you for visiting with me! I hope you had a good week. I hope the weather is nicer where you are. And I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday. :)

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Published by

Lisa

Hello! My name is Lisa. I find the human condition fascinating and I often write stuff about that. I blog at zenandpi.com but you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram, and if you like what I do, consider signing up for my newsletter. Thanks :)

8 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee – Exhausted, but Happy, and Even Writing Poetry”

  1. Sounds like you did have a really busy week! Glad that it sounds like a productive one for you, even with the hiccups.

    I left grad school in December because I was having similar feelings about what I was doing and wanted to be more creative, and although it’s been a struggle (and continues to be), I’m way happier. Good luck following through on your passions and in whatever you choose to do!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Since I have been writing I have been way happier and I just want so much more of that. I have gotten greedy and my day job isn’t providing the same good feelings I get from writing and being creative. Good luck to you too :)

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  2. It can be really hard to balance those artistic ambitions from when we were younger with the reality of being a grown-up… so hard to do, but totally worth doing what needs to be done in order to make it a reality!
    Thanks for the coffee — time to get to some of my writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah sometimes being a grown up suck. I wish I could go back to my younger self with the mind set I have now. I would be so much further along now. But I have to try to do it now, I am hoping it will be worth it in the end.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “The plan was to only have a couple of drinks” Oh the stories I have that start with that statement.

    I hope you can find a balance with your work work and your art work. Enjoyed the coffee.

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    1. Every time I go out I tell myself “only a couple of drinks” and every time I have way more than a couple. I know am just lying to myself and myself doesn’t believe it for a second.

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  4. I’m exhausted too and I haven’t been out drinking…or out…or drinking! I’m just old! But seriously, I think it’s the weather, or the long winter season or something like that. It seems that no matter how much sleep I get, I can’t get enough!

    Keep trying to find some time to write. If that’s what you love doing, then find a few minutes. Even fifteen minutes a day. Maybe sit alone during lunch at work and write? If you take public transportation to/from work, could you write then? Give it a try…even if you only make enough time a couple of times a week. It’s better than no time!

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    1. I agree about the weather! I feel so much more tired in the cold. Finding time to write is becoming on of my biggest frustrations in life. I work with friends who want to hang out all the time so finding a way to tell them I need to be alone without hurting their feelings is hard. They are trying to be understanding though. Thank you for reading :)

      Liked by 1 person

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