If We Were Having Coffee – A Long and Emotional Week

If we were having coffee I would start by apologizing for not being able to meet with you last week. I honestly was just too tired and I was feeling a bit down and out. I was barely able to get out of the bed. Thankfully I am much better this week and we can sit down and chat.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that for a short work week it sure felt like a long work week! It was also a very emotional for me. One of the girls I have been transporting on my bus finally had her last day of school. I don’t mean last day of the school year, I mean last day forever.

My day job title is Bus Assistant. I ride the Special Needs buses with the children to make sure they are being safe and appropriate on the school bus. This particular girl quickly became one of my favorite kids I’ve ever transported in the 8 years I have been doing this. We became very close and on her last day she and I cried, and hugged, and took pictures, and cried some more, and exchanged email addresses.

She taught me a lot in the small amount of time she was on my bus every day. She made me feel special too. I will miss her so much.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am proud of myself for doing so much better with finding time for reading and writing. I took time last week to really think of a few new ideas and type out a couple of things. I work in between life’s demands and I kept my iPad, my phone, and/or a notebook available at all times. I told people when I needed time to focus and I used my headphones whenever necessary.

I have also downloaded a few Jane Austen books that a few of you recommended to me on my Writer’s Quote Wednesday post. I will begin reading them as soon as I get my shit together and finish Rant by Chuch Palahniuk and The Rose Metal Press Field Guide to Flash Nonfiction.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I finally talked to my boss about letting go of some of the extra responsibilities I have picked up at work over the years. So, in addition to being on the school bus I am also a trainer. I help new people learn to use the equipment we have and how to interact with kids and deal with issues on the bus. I will keep doing the training thing for awhile longer, but a few months into the next school year I plan to start working fewer hours.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy these extra responsibilities. I like helping people see how amazing these kids are and I like teaching them how to keep those kids safe. I like that people come to me when they need help and I am given some leeway in coming up with creative solutions to the logistical problems of transporting Special Needs kids. I love everything about it….except how much time it takes out of my day.

I spend a lot of hours every week working that position and more and more I think about what I could do for myself in that time. Leaving that position will mean two more hours a day, or more, that I will have to invest in my future. This job has been good to me but I admit there are more fulfilling things I could do. I want to really try to be something when I finally grow up and I need more time to do it.

My boss hates to lose me but he understands. He also respects my decision and seems encouraging. I think he can understand that for some people money isn’t all there is. Yeah I could keep doing what I am doing and work toward a promotion but I would be very unhappy. I would rather make less (a little less) money than I do now and be able to do something I love than make more money doing something I will hate more and more every day.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I would love to stay and chat some more but I am actually dealing with a rather nasty cold right now and I ought to go rest now while I can. I don’t want to have to miss work when there are only two more days left of the school year.

I do hope everything is well with you. I hope you have accomplished everything you wanted to last week and you continue to accomplish things this coming week too. THank you so much for stopping by to chat, as always, it has meant a lot.


2 Replies to “If We Were Having Coffee – A Long and Emotional Week”

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