It’s so weird having no one here to talk to. I’m the kind of person who is always saying something. I like to think out loud. I’m used to having someone here to think out loud to but the house is empty and there is no one here but the cat and the dog. The cat prefers to hang out under the bed and the dog cares nothing about what I am thinking. The silence here is almost more than I can handle.
Usually the house feels small but without you it feels way too big. I have decided to keep to the living room, only moving to the kitchen and the bathroom as needed. Even the couch feels big now and even though the dog isn’t supposed to be up here I let her anyway. I need another warm body to fill up all this space.
It’s dark out now but I can’t sleep. I tried but, like the couch, this bed is just too big. The house is creaking all around me and I can’t tell if it is the wind or if someone is trying to break in to murder me. I move back to the couch and try sleeping there for a while. It helps that I can see all the doors from here and I can tell if someone is breaking in. I decide to leave the kitchen light on too because without you the darkness is terrifying.
I still can’t sleep though and I briefly wonder if maybe you are awake too and if you would mind if I called you. I decide not to because I know you have a busy day ahead of you. I’d hate to be the reason you are tired tomorrow. I wonder if you are thinking of calling me too?
I wonder if you are afraid to keep me up and I silently pray you decide to call me anyway.