It’s that magically crappy time of the month again and I am feeling especially unhappy about it. I decided I needed to rant so I wrote a post full of complaints about my period. It helped.
1. My face breaks out like I’m 15 years old again.
This starts before my period even begins. In fact it is how I know I can expect to be very miserable very soon. My first reaction is denial though. Maybe I just need to wash my pillow case, or maybe I just touched my face too much the day before. Maybe it isn’t my period at all.
But nothing I do makes my face look better and then I know, shark week is coming. My hormones are completely in control at this point and all I can do is hope my face doesn’t get too bad and that it will end soon.
2. I have PMS before I realize I have PMS.
One thing that sucks about becoming a ball of anger and sensitivity is that you don’t realize it is happening at first. It happens slowly and builds over a couple of days so at first you just think everyone around you is being harsh and stupid. By the time you do realize that it was you all along you have committed enough acts of bitchiness to add a good amount of guilt to my already overwhelming feelings.
I hate when I have to go back and apologize for the things my hormones made me do.
3. I feel a lot of opposite feelings at the same time.
I want to go somewhere, but I want to stay in bed. I’m hungry but food sounds gross. I want salty foods and sweet foods. I need a hug but human touch is uncomfortable. I want someone to help me feel better but everything everyone does is annoying as hell. Nothing is right and nothing is good enough. I end up frustrated and choosing to just go to sleep rather than deal with these feelings anymore.
I feel bad for my poor girlfriend. Nothing she does makes me feel better but I still want her to fix it.
4. ALL period management solutions suck
Pads are the worst. They feel like diapers and they move, bunch, and stick to me and my underwear in weird ways. They are horrible. Tampons are better but can still feel uncomfortable if I fuck up and insert them incorrectly. You would think this wouldn’t still be happening after 15 years of periods but it does sometimes. And it’s pretty painful if you have to remove them right after inserting.
I switched to using Softcups but those can have issues too. It’s like sometimes my lady parts change shape and position and the cups just don’t fit. This is a horribly uncomfortable situation.
5. The Blood!
It’s everywhere! And despite the pads and tampons and cups it’s messy. It’s in my underwear, it’s in my jeans, it’s on my sheets, the toilet seat, my hands, and the bathroom rug. I spend the first few days of my period just worrying about leaking on to everything around me. When it happens (not if) I feel horrible and disgusting like this is somehow my fault. The shame is intense.
One of the great things about being a lesbian is that my girlfriend isn’t freaked out by the sight of my blood on something. Then again I do spend more on period accessories than straight couples so there are pros and cons.
6. I am a horrible feminist because I hate my period.
I know I know, my body is magical and it’s doing it’s magical, life giving thing. I should appreciate the process and feel grateful I was born with the ability to give life. I should honor my menstrual cycle. I should be embracing the energy that comes during this “moon time” and blah, blah, blah! I’m sorry but this sucks and pretending it doesn’t doesn’t make it suck less.
Yeah I can appreciate the process from a scientific/biological perspective but the emotional side of me can only see how unfair and uncomfortable this whole thing is. I do not appreciate this at all. I do not feel more creative and my intuition does not feel heightened. I feel like I have lost control of my body and all I can think about it how unfair, uncomfortable, and inconvenient it all is.
Sorry not sorry.
I believe that deep down all women hate their periods and it is our God-given right to complain about it as much as we want. Let loose in the comments if you need to :)
P.S. DO NOT comment telling me you don’t want to hear about periods. I don’t need that crap right now.
Original image via https://flic.kr/p/a4dVsz