If We Were Having Coffee – I’m Tired, I’m Sad, and I’m in Love

If we were having coffee I would tell you that today I am tired. I have felt so run down lately and I am not sure why, which is starting to worry me a little. I am hoping a day to relax and do nothing but read and write will get me out of this funk. If not I plan to spend tomorrow with my family which ought to do the trick.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that one reason I could be feeling like this is from a lack of a good nights sleep. It’s summertime which means I want to be out doing as much as possible before fall and winter come and I am shut-in for six months. I still have to get up for work at 4:00 every morning too.

This past week I attended my girlfriends final kickball game, which was followed by lots of drinking and a late parking lot cookout. We also saw a free showing of the movie Pineapple Express which began at 10 PM and ended at about midnight. I have also gotten into the bad habit of taking a nap after work then not being able to sleep before 9:00 at night.

I never get more than 6 hours of sleep a night, and sometimes I get less than 4. I think it’s affecting my health and I have to make a better effort to sleep more. It sucks though and I don’t want to.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that my heart has been heavy with all the sadness I have read in the news. The story of Sandra Bland, the Chattanooga shooting and the growing Islamaphobia in this country, and, especially, the theater shooting trial verdict.

I am a sensitive person and I feel deep sadness when I read sad news stories. I have to take breaks here and there when the world loses its mind and goes to shit. I think next week I may have to take another one of those breaks. Then again I was thinking of trying to write about these stories instead. Maybe by working through the feelings and then getting them out I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed. It’s worth a try.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that as much as I am thinking about sad things I am thinking about happy things too. Lately I have been surrounded by so much love that my heart feels like it will burst from trying to take it all in.

One of the couples we hang out with, another gay couple, has recently gotten married after the SCOTUS ruling made it officially official. I cannot wait to celebrate with them. Another gay couple we are close with is already married and offered to help us with our own wedding design and food. I can’t wait to celebrate my own! And another couple I know (not gay) who are long-distance, are getting to be together this week and celebrate they’re anniversary.

Love is in the air and I feel very lucky to be a part of it. I am grateful for my girlfriend and our relationship. This morning I woke up thinking about how I never want to be apart from her, no matter what. We have been lazy about our own wedding plans and I think we need to really buckle down and do this. In the next month or two we are going to start really planning. We’ve been together almost 13 years, it’s well past time to make it official.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I had better get going. My amazing girlfriend is in the kitchen whipping up some fried bananas and ice cream for our afternoon snack. After that I plan on taking a good nap. The clouds are creeping in and I can hear the thunder rolling in the distance. Natures lullaby.

I hope you had a great week and a wonderful weekend too. Either way, let me know in the comments :)

Original image via https://flic.kr/p/5droaf


15 Replies to “If We Were Having Coffee – I’m Tired, I’m Sad, and I’m in Love”

  1. Even though we don’t want to sleep sometimes, think of it as fueling yourself with even more energy to do awesome shit. I’ve been feeling pretty ill over the last week for not taking care of myself too. Slap on our wrists. Thanks for the coffee XXX


  2. Sometimes all the sadness in the world can be very stressful and tire us out, physically and mentally. It sounds like that might be a part of what is going on with you.

    Read a positive book, watch a comedy, distract yourself. It helps. Hope you get over it soon!


  3. Hope that nap was nice—sounds like you needed it!

    The news often makes me sad, and sometimes quite mad, and I have to work really hard not to let that get me in a funk. I do keep coming back to the love that I see, though, and even if that sounds cliche, it’s always helpful.


    1. It was! The news has been so bad lately, especially with the trial and anniversary of the theater shooting this week. I live very near to where it happened and I know the mother of one of the victims….it’s been a very sad time but you are right, love helps tremendously :)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I flew from California to Colorado recently just to have coffee for a couple hours with the love of my life….. 1 week later I lost her.


  5. I hope that you can get some sleep. Maybe being sleep deprived makes you even more sensitive to sad issues? I think that maybe if you write about it, it will help you take the weight off your heart.
    Have fun with the planning of your wedding.


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