So Why the Hell Aren’t You a Feminist?

Yeah, I’m a huge feminist. I think everyone else should be a huge feminist too. I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t be? I mean how can you be against fighting for equal rights for women? I know there are men who, for obvious reason, aren’t feminists. They like keeping women subservient. They wish for the old days when women stayed home, cooking, and cleaning, and raising the kids, waiting for her man to come home.

On some level I do understand why some men would not be feminists. It’s in their best interests not to be, or so they think. What baffles my mind is the women who proudly proclaim that they aren’t feminists. You can find examples of these women by searching such hashtags on twitter as #FeminismIsAwful. A quick scroll gave me the impression that most of these women were either nitpicking flawed individuals in the movement, or had the wrong idea of what feminism was.

2015-07-24 08.33.03

A quick Google search of the definition of feminism would clear up the confusion but I guess that’s just too difficult.

What these woman think is feminism is actually called “misandry”. Misandry is the “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e., the male sex). I will be the first to admit there are women whose brand of feminism is only thinly veiled misandry but they are not real feminist and I do not identify with them or consider them to be a part of the movement.

Feminism has also been wrongly associated (mostly by men) with lesbianism, and angry women who have been hurt by men and are now seeking revenge. Often times those two groups are even considered to be one in the same. In reality feminism has nothing to do with sexual orientation or gender identity. Men can be feminist. Trans-gendered people can be feminists.  Straight people, gay people, bi-sexual people, asexual people, can all be feminists. Anybody can, and should be, a feminist.

Feminism is about nothing more than equal rights. It’s about treating women the same as men. It’s about letting go of outdated views on what a women should be and what a woman ought to do. It’s about the freedom to be who you are without fear of violence and harassment.. It’s about letting go of an out dated hierarchies and systems of oppression. It’s about women not being chained to their genitals and forced to endure certain hardships based on it. It’s about letting women control their own bodies and paths in life.

It’s about treating women like real people.

I don’t see how anyone can be against this? Other than because they are just plain sexist. We can argue about the many ways there are to go about changing the male-centered society we live in but at the base of it all, the very bottom line, I don’t see any good arguments for why feminism is wrong, or bad.

If you say you’re not a feminist, you’re almost denying your own existence.

– Margaret Cho

I especially don’t get it from other women. I usually chalk it up to ignorance. Maybe their first encounter with a feminist was a bad one. Maybe they met someone who hates men and thinks they are all rapists and it turned them off. I can understand that.

But please, try very hard to think for yourself and talk to other feminist to learn what it is really all about. Feminist don’t hate men. Feminist do not believe women are superior to men. Feminist do not want to kill or enslave all men and build some Amazonian nation where women don’t wear bras or shave their legs. That isn’t what feminism is about!

It’s just about treating women like real people.

It’s a good thing I promise.

Original image via Rich Anderson


12 Replies to “So Why the Hell Aren’t You a Feminist?”

  1. I don’t call myself a feminist even though I also want gender equality. I have issues with the feminist movement in the US as too often it has focused on white womens’ needs and ignored, or put on the back burner, the intersection of issues unique to women of color.

    It drives me up a wall to hear people cavalierly say things like “women got the right to vote in 1920” as though the fact that many women of color still couldn’t vote is merely an unpleasant afterthought.

    That’s just a bit of why I don’t call myself a “feminist,” though I agree with many of the tenets you put forth.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I can see that. In fact more and more WoC are rejecting the term feminism for that reason and I have to say (as a WoC myself) I can’t really blame them. I plan to do a future post on the subject. Thanks for reading :)


  2. Lisa, a lovely, educational post. I didn’t know the word ‘misandry’, and wow is it a useful one. Your point that one doesn’t need to be a woman to be a feminist is a core truth that a lot of people miss. My boyfriend is a bigger feminist than me, because I was raised in a very conservative and sexist family, and didn’t learn to respect myself until nearly my 40s. My boyfriend teaches me so much about feminism, and respect and love for women.


  3. I call myself a feminist. But this is only something I would call myself recently, even though I always had feminist politics.

    The reason – mainstream feminism was not started to support all women. It was started to support white women. They were like ‘hey look at us guys, we deserve the right to vote because how you letting these black men vote and not us, we’re better than them’. Feminism as a movement has continually silenced and oppressed women of colour – even today (eg the whole nicki minaj fiasco, silence about women of colour issues, supporting white women when they’re being called out). It’s not a welcoming movement and I don’t blame them for not joining.

    Liked by 1 person

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