It’s Valentine’s week, a time for expressing your love and making the one you love feel special. We shouldn’t just do it once a year and we can’t always be as extravagant as we are during holidays like this, so, here are some easy-peasy, everyday ways to show them how you feel.
Send each other music. There was a time when people in love made mix tapes, cassette tapes and later CDs with music that told your lover how you felt in words and melodies that really make them feel what you feel. These days we have music streaming services and the art of the playlist has been lost. Luckily it can be resurrected because most services have a share option on every song and playlist. My girlfriend and I periodically send each other songs we hear and like and with Spotify my inbox plays like a mixtape of songs that remind me of her and that I know remind her of me.
Buy thank you gifts and cards. Stop for just a moment here and think of all the things your partner does every day for you. Are they working to make money for your household and family? Are they coming home to cook dinner? Are they doing their best to be a good parent? Do they clean the toilets, scoop the litter boxes, and get the trash out? Well buy them a 99 cent thank you card and a small gift that you think will show them you see all those little things they do. When you write your message in the card remember to be specific about what you are thanking them for, it shows you really put thought into it. And for the gift, make it something small and unconventional. My philosophy is there are plenty of opportunities for the serious expensive gifts throughout the year and sometimes the odd or silly gift can say more about how we feel than expensive jewelry.
Send them random texts, obviously. This is an easy and popular choice for most couples. My girlfriend is in and out of meetings all day long and I know that conversations of any kind just can’t happen durning her work hours but I like to let her know that I am thinking of her. I usually send something like “Hey! I love you!” With a kissy face, or I tell her that I miss her, or I tell her that I am glad she is not other people when the people around me are trying my patience. I also text her little reminders to eat lunch or drink water or ask her how she is doing so far to let her know I am thinking of her well being.
Send them random pictures so they can see your face. I don’t mean nudes, I mean pictures of you at you desk, or while you are out taking a walk on your lunch, or your face after another stupid meeting. It helps them feel like they are there with you doing your day to day stuff.
Send them memes that pertain to things they like. I like to keep my girlfriend abreast of funny things going on on the internet, especially if they have to do with something she, or we, are into. She doesn’t have time to browse social media the way I do but I know she could use a laugh or two through out her day. For example, after we watched Making a Murderer I sent her every thing I learned about the case as well as every funny Tumblr post I found on the subject.
Put on some music and dance. In addition to sending each other music you should also play some music for each other, in person. And when you do, make sure you put your arm around your significant other, look them in the eye in a way that lets them know that, for you, the world has melted away and you would like nothing more than to slow dance in this kitchen with them. Or play some rock and head bang, or start a two person mosh pit, whatwever works for the two of you.
Put on some music and fall asleep. If you haven’t guessed yet I think music is a very important part of any relationship. It is the easiest way to change the mood and focus both of you on the present moment. When you don’t have as much time with your significant other as you’d like every moment should be filled with love. Bedtime is an important part of the day and I think it’s nice if you can end it with a feeling of closeness and love. We have a playlist of love songs we like to fall asleep to, it makes falling asleep something sweet and special.
Order takeout and picnic on the couch. After a long day of work it can be frustrating to figure out who is cooking and what they are making. For us the who is an easy choice, my girlfriend always cooks, she likes to and I am terrible at it, but that doesn’t mean she is always feeling up to it. On nights she isn’t I order us a bunch of food from the closest Chinese place, lay it all out on the couch and ottoman, dim the lights, and find a show for us to binge while we stuff our faces. Now she can relax and forget about her long day.
Ask them their opinion on matters of your work or hobbies. You both work different jobs and you both have interests outside of each other, and that is okay, and it is also ok to tell your significant other all about it and maybe even ask for direction and help. She is working a position much higher than me, doing things I don’t always understand, all while managing a team of her own, and I don’t know anything about what that is like. Still, she asks me for help and advice and it feels nice knowing she respects my mind enough to trust that I could be of help. I also like to talk to her about my little blog and all my little achievements which she doesn’t think are so little at all.
And finally, clean something, anything! I won’t pretend to be the most thoughtful girlfriend in the world. I don’t always know what to do to make her happy or to brighten her day but when I feel like I absolutely have to do something and I don’t know what to do, I clean as much as I can before my girlfriend gets home. I think it is nice to come home from work to a clean home that smells nice and knowing there is nothing more you need to do because it has all been taken care of.
There are many more ways to show appreciation and affection, as many ways as there are couples out there I am sure, but these are a few that have worked for me through the ups and downs of the last 13 years of my relationship. We rely more on the little moments and small displays of intimacy to remind each other of how much we love each other and why we are here. I have come to believe it is, in fact, the little things that count.
What about you? How do you show your love day in and day out? What little things do you do to let them know you care and want nothing more than to make them happy? Share your tips in the comments :)