Hello and happy Monday dear readers. I hope your weekend went well and I hope you are able to start the week off on the right foot. For the first time in a long time, I felt prepared for the work week ahead of time and I hit the ground running. It is strange to feel motivated when there is also a part of me that feels so tired and a little down.
If I keep moving, if I stay busy, I feel ok. If I stopped to think too long I feel my depression sneaking out and around me. My old friend asking if I am ready for them to return.
For a little while now I have been feeling very small. I feel unimportant. I feel the vastness of time and space all around me and I feel like I do not matter one bit. I know I matter to my friends and family now but eventually, they won’t matter either. It seems it is time again for a mild existential crisis. I’m surprised it took so long for it to rear it’s ugly head again.
So what do you do when you begin to feel like your life has little to no purpose or value? What meaning can be found for those like me? People who see the world for what it is, nothing but a small island floating through an essentially empty, cold, and callous universe? What keeps you going when you know there is now higher authority beyond other humans who matter just as little as you do?
Well, as someone who goes through this sort of depression regularly I can tell you that all you can do is get through it, one step and one day at a time. The best way is to turn your thoughts inward and remind yourself that while you may not live forever and you may be forgotten in the distant future that you do in fact matter. You matter just as much as any other human being does.
When was the last time anyone ever told you how important you are?
// Maya Angelou
Maybe what is outside this world and this time just doesn’t matter. Today matters, this moment matters, and you matter, right now! It’s everything else that shouldn’t matter. The rest of the universe, as far as we know, is lacking in humanity. It is lacking in the beautiful curiosity, enthusiasm, and joy that can easily be found here on Earth and inside of each of us. We are what matter because we are all we have and right now matters because each moment will only happen once and is unique in itself.
You matter because you are the only you there is and no one else in this world will experience this moment from your perspective every again. You may not make a huge impact on the cosmos but you will matter to one person, and they will matter to another, and so on.
And if that isn’t enough, remember, you are important because you are all you have in this world. Even if you can’t live forever and you can’t do everything you can make a life that means something to you.
That is what I tell myself. I matter to me. I am the one who makes my life worth living and I am the one who sees how beautiful and unique I am. I am a witness to my own greatness and it will be quite a show.
I matter, you matter, to each other and to ourselves, and it is so important that we know that.
P.S. The title came from a quote that for the life of me I cannot place. If you know who said it please let me know
Featured image via Cwote