Hello dear readers and happy Monday. I hope your work week has started off well. The beginning of the work week is usually rough, and we all stumble and struggle, but try not to let it get to you. Don’t let a day go to waste over complaints and bad tempers. Mondays aren’t as bad as you think, not if you do your best and go easy on yourself.
This week I am feeling a little out of sorts. I am not as irritable as I am most Mondays but I am feeling sensitive and fragile. I feel tired, the kind that threatens to turn to tears if anyone should sound a little too frustrated or answer me in too snippy of a tone. I feel everything is about me and take every joke personally. I feel like a walking wound today, open exposed and hurting, and without understanding or comfort.
I have always been the sensitive type, ever since childhood, I am usually able to hide it well or hold it in until I am at home and can release all the hurt or anger. Being a sensitive type in a work environment is frowned upon, it shouldn’t be but that’s a post for another day. For today, I have to learn to navigate this place and cope with the way I feel.
“I despise my own hypersensitiveness, which requires so much reassurance. It is certainly abnormal to crave so much to be loved and understood.”
// Anaïs Nin
When I am like this I want to stay in bed. I want to feel warm and cozy and all wrapped up. I want a hot cup of tea and a feel good movie. I want to be with my girlfriend. She makes everything better. When I am like this she takes care of me.
But she has to work and so do I but instead of pushing everything down until all I feel is bitterness I think this week I will allow myself to feel. I will allow myself to feel however I need to. There is no reason I should have to walk through the world pretending this much.
So this week I will let the people around me know that I need space and understanding. I need them to take it easy and try to keep things positive around me. I know they don’t have to and some people may choose to be their usual harsh and grouchy selves around me and I will choose to keep my distance. These people are my friends though and I think they will understand that I need this for now, but that I will be back to my usual self soon.
I’m am also choosing not to feel bad for needing that. I am always so hard on myself for being so thin-skinned but I can’t help it and I can’t beat myself up over it either. Being a sensitive type means I am often in desperate need of self-care. This week I’ll give myself that understanding and comfort when other people can’t and I’ll try to protect my emotional soft spots the very best I can.
In addition, I want to be aware of the other sensitive people around me and make sure to treat them gently and with the same care I long for in my day to day life. I think a lot of people are like me, walking around with delicate hearts but they try to hide them which only serves to hurt more in the end. Be mindful of others and always treat them the way you wish everyone else would treat you.