Being Uncomfortable, Voicing Discomfort, and Leaving Uncomfortable Spaces

13 thoughts on “Being Uncomfortable, Voicing Discomfort, and Leaving Uncomfortable Spaces”

  1. Reblogged this on mira prabhu and commented:
    Lisa addresses an issue that confuses most humans – do we speak up when people attack or mock us (or others around us), and take the discomfort that accompanies standing up for ourselves, or do we just ignore them and hope they will go away?

    As Lisa says here: “I am not good at speaking out when I am hurt by the words of others. I hate confrontation, it makes me uncomfortable. Lately, I have been thinking about the consequences of keeping quiet. Maybe it is doing more harm than just saying how I feel?….
    I am not helping anyone by doing nothing.”

    I agree that we do not help ourselves or others when we passively accept abuse; if out of fear of consequences we keep quiet, no one grows. And yet it takes skill and compassion for ourselves and for others, to learn how to handle these vexing situations…after all these years, I am still polishing what eastern teachers refer to as “skillful means”….what about you?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I think you are exactly right. I am always trying to be polite and not being polite makes me uncomfortable. Also, being around other women who are speaking up makes me uncomfortable too. I don’t want it to but it does, I can’t help it. I think somewhere in my mind I still think we should just keep out heads down and speak when spoken to. It’s hard work getting out all those harmful and outdated feelings :/

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  2. Goodreads quote for today is from Erica Jong, from her book “Fear of Flying”. She did have an essay in it< I think, about "the zipless fuck" concerning anonymous sex. That was before AIDS, and nowadays, people are encouraged NOT to consider that kind of "social irresponsibility." So, lots of gay men do not go around having anonymous sex, but have settled with monogamy and same-sex marriage. Monogamy is really a lot about safe sex with a regular partner. And that is reasonable and socially responsible. Which is what so many have to learn – that individualism, as in going out and shooting people because you are angry, and suicide bombers inflicting their fear on others, the ultimate ends of ultra-individualism. We must go back to Jean-Jacques Rousseau and his "Social Contract" to see where humanity MUST be the whole social being that civilization demands and that "the pursuit of happiness" is not a singular affair, but entails true democracy and support for this vast society that has fragmented for many millennia, and now can only move forward by joining together. A huge project, beginning with Islamic caliphate supremacists, the current virulent threat to global society.

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    1. I agree. Individualism has been a plague on the US especially. I has been good for a few but devastating for the greater masses. I hope one day people will learn that our species operates best when working together. We do best when we lift one another up and when not one of us is left behind.

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  3. I feel like this is a common situation amongst the soft hearted and kind people everywhere. This is something I struggle with on a daily but as a get older and learn that everyone is just looking out for themselves you need to do the same as well. I love this entry, absolutely relatable.

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