A is for “The Apology”

“Oh, Melissa, I am so sorry!”

I was scared. I could hear you but I couldn’t see you. Your words were familiar, I think I have heard them before. Oh, what had you done to me this time? I scanned down my body, hoping pain would remind me of how I ended up like this. I couldn’t feel anything, and that scared me even more.

“I never could control my anger and I never did deserve you. I am a monster. I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t stop it. I am sorry.”

Yes, that is true. You were just being you, the charming man and the monster lurking behind. I never saw the monster until the broken nose, the broken collarbone, and then the broken heart. Even after all that I still forgave the man. You were who you were, and I was never who you needed me to be.

“I hope wherever you are, you can forgive me. It’s just, I warned you, you know? I asked you to just leave me the fuck alone and you couldn’t. I think you brought this on yourself, don’t you?.”

Just then I could see. The sunlight silhouetted you above me, but I could see you had flowers in your hand, daisies, my favorites. You always brought flowers when you went to far. Wherever we were and whatever had happened to get us here was probably my fault.

“Always pestering, always nagging, I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it wouldn’t have if you’d only listened. Now look at you.”

You were scaring me now, again. Your hands were tightening but you weren’t looking at me. You were looking somewhere behind me. Just as I became curious to whom you were speaking, I was up and next to you and looking at the same spot. It was large stone, with my name on it, and on it the flowers you had brought with you.

“Fuckin-a! Do you know what kind of hell I have been through over this shit? Police, your Goddamn mother, all pestering me almost as much as you did. Fuck Melissa, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

I wanted to cry. I wanted to say all the things that would make you feel better. I wanted to beg you, please, calm down, please, don’t hurt me, please, I’ll do better. I wanted to say something to make everything all right again, but it was too late for that. No apology would bring me, or us, back.

Looking at my final resting place and knowing you had put me there made me realize all the sorry’s between us had meant nothing. I couldn’t forgive you this time, at least, not until you meant the words you said.

You turned to go and I followed you. I would make you apologize again but this time, you would mean it. Soon, every breath you take will be an apology.

***

Author’s note: The plan for this challenge was to post small pieces of fiction that read more like excerpts rather than stories with a true beginning, middle, and end. I think instead, these have turned into something in between. Please bear with me, these are my first attempts at writing fiction. You can find them all under my AtoZ2016 tag.

Advertisements

Published by

Lisa

Hello! My name is Lisa. I find the human condition fascinating and I often write stuff about that. I blog at zenandpi.com but you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram, and if you like what I do, consider signing up for my newsletter. Thanks :)

7 thoughts on “A is for “The Apology””

    1. Exactly! I wanted to try something new and I thought this was a good excuse to give it a go. Plus, I am the type that needs deadlines or I won’t try anything new lol :)

      Like

  1. 1. Nice job! Keep it up! This challenge will be a great way for you to practice and get in a groove of writing.

    2. Avatar is an addiction. I just watched it through….again….with my kids for the first time. And AGAIN it was magic.

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s