Make Your Conversations Matter

Hello and happy Monday dear readers! I hope your work week started with positive vibes and an air of productivity. If not, remember that you can always hit the reset button. I promise you, Mondays are not the worst, it is only that our attitude about them needs tweaking. Mondays are for new chances and new opportunities. Mondays are a new chance to get it right.

My Monday is neither good nor bad. I am tired and I woke up a bit late but I had the foresight to prepare much of what I needed last night. Unfortunately, I also went to bed way to late but I slept well, which is rare anymore, and I am in a good mood. I think I can get stuff done today.

I hate small talk. I want to talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favourite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears. I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind.

// Breagha Young

Last week I found myself feeling very annoyed by people who would interrupt a book I was reading, a podcast I was listening to, or a blog post I was writing to talk about nothing at all. It was all small talk and I hate small talk. I hate conversations that aren’t intended to do anything but fill up empty space. I hate to be interrupted for waste time pretending we are getting to know each other.

I don’t mean to sound anti-social, I’m really not, I love talking to people, I just want to talk about something meaningful. People don’t like to do that, though. To ask personal questions is rude and over time the realm of what is personal grows. Anymore I feel like talking about anything more that weekend plans and the weather are too deep for most.

To be perfectly honest I’d rather not talk at all than have one more person tell me the weather is gorgeous and the weekend was too short. I look around and I feel like I am surrounded by robots. I feel like my mind is the only one that exists. They say others do but what evidence I have is wanting.

So, this week I am going to avoid small talk like the plague. Not by checking out, no. This week I am going to ask people real questions and give real answers. I’m going to give details and ask for details. It doesn’t have to be anything too drastic. Instead of asking “How was your weekend?” ask “What did you do this weekend?”. Subtle but the answers will be very different and that little detail will make the conversation worth your time.

I often wonder how we can be on the internet all day liking and commenting, replying and sharing, and yet we can’t even talk to each other face to face. I often think it is because the safety of the anonymous internet has given us all a little bit of social anxiety. We are always trying to escape each other and do the bare minimum until we can get back online.

But the bare minimum is mind numbing. The bare minimum is a waste of time. For a change let’s talk about something more. Let’s talk about something controversial. Let’s talk about something important. Let’s share some opinions, even if we don’t agree. Let’s get to know each other a little, yeah?

If not, leave me in silence. Let me read my book, listen to my podcast, or finish my blog posts, please. I’d rather that, I’d rather anything at all, than any more small talk.

Featured image via Unsplash

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Published by

Lisa

Hello! My name is Lisa. I find the human condition fascinating and I often write stuff about that. I blog at zenandpi.com but you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram, and if you like what I do, consider signing up for my newsletter. Thanks :)

6 thoughts on “Make Your Conversations Matter”

  1. Ditto to all you said! I love your idea about asking questions differently! So what did I do this weekend? I met a Tai Chi master and took my first Tai Chi class! Happy Monday!

    Like

    1. Thanks! Glad you could relate :)

      Tai Chi sounds fun! I have coworker who takes a class to help reduce stress. I forgot that I meant to look into it, thanks for reminding me :)

      Liked by 1 person

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