Never Say Never, Never Say Always

Hello dear readers, and welcome to the beginning of another work week. If you are anything like me, Mondays are hard for you. It’s not easy to adjust yourself from the relaxing weekend to the rise and grind mentality of Monday thru Friday.

You can find yourself feeling tired, depressed, and disappointed, but that’s no way to live. Instead, let’s try something new. Let’s think of Mondays, not as the first of five miserable days but the first of five days we get to make all the changes we want to see in ourselves and the world around us. Mondays are a new chance to get it right.

My Monday is a dreary one. Here in Colorado, we have cloudy skies, fog, and cool temperatures. I went to bed later than I meant to last night and the lack of sleep and horizon to horizon cloud cover means I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

“I never say never, and I never say always.”

// Grace Kelly

This week I am going to try not to use the words never or always unless I am 100% sure I really mean them. I am under no circumstances to use those words when I am angry or sad. I’m especially not to use use them when talking about another person’s thoughts, feelings, or actions.

Those words on their own aren’t so bad but the mental states they induce or perpetuate are. Those words do not allow us to see or accept the ever-changing and often cyclical nature of reality. Those words and words like them keep us from seeing the big picture or moving forward.

How many times have you said things like:

  • I always do that,
  • Bad things always happen to me,
  • I am always messaging things up.

How many times have you said things like:

  • They never listen to me
  • They never care about my feelings
  • They never see me.

Saying never or always traps us. When we say we never or always we forget that from day to day we change and the world around us does too. When you say never you can’t see that things are good sometimes and they will be again. When you say always you can’t see that things can’t always be good either.

You can’t see that the ups and downs are normal and that you are not, in fact, getting “more than your fair share” of the good or the bad. There is always someone who has is bettered, and always someone who had it worse. There have been times when you yourself had it better or worse than you do now.

Do not give in to feelings of hopelessness or forget that good times and bad times are always on the way. People get better and people get worse. Remember to stay present and see the good and bad you are given in life as it comes and goes. Use other words to describe how you feel.

  • This is happening more than I’d like.
  • It feels like this rarely happens.
  • I am frustrated I’ve been unable to do this lately.
  • I am frustrated that you and I have been unable to agree on this so far.
  • I’ve been needing this lately and I haven’t been able to get it.

These kinds of phrases allow for change. They allow you the opportunity to see a solution. They allow you to keep lines of communication open with yourself and with others. They allow you to make your life what you want it to be, eventually.

Everything is temporary. There is no never or always, and that’s a good thing :)


Featured image: Lake Tahoe, United States by Rosalind Chang via Unsplash


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