If We Were Having Coffee // I Hate Writing and I Hate Turkey

Hello, dear readers. I’m so glad you’ve stopped by to chat with me. I am feeling much better than I have been these last few weeks. My election depression is wearing off, my cold is long gone, and work hasn’t been too stressful.

It’s been a good week, considering.

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If we were having coffee, I would start by telling about the crazy weather we’ve been having. This past Thursday we finally got our very first bit of snow for the season. Before that, we were working on something like six weeks without any precipitation at all. Not only that but were seeing temperatures close to 80 degrees some days. That is unheard of for this time of year here.

Our ski resorts had to postpone opening which means our winter tourism business is probably down and I predict another drought next year.

I won’t lie, at first, I really liked it. Now all I can think is this is what climate change will be for us here. We will get dryer and dryer, warmer and warmer. We will live under a constant fire watch, and water will become a real problem. Scary shit.

***

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am still very far behind on my NaNoWriMo word counts, but I am proud of myself for not giving up. I do have a super easy week coming up at work, and I am determined to do as much as I can to make up the words during this time.

At this point, my strategy is just writing random scenes that may or may not make it into my final book. I am working on figuring who my characters are and getting them into more situations where they interact with on another. I am also trying to add more pain so that later there can be more redemption and happiness. I’m trying to have fun with it.

Some days it’s hard, though. Some days I just don’t feel up to it. Some days my emotions are overwhelming—or underwhelming—or I am too tired, or I’ve had a glass or two of wine, and I can’t get the words to flow. It feels very much like pulling teeth. Like prying things out of my mind and soul with a crowbar. It’s painful and leaves me exhausted and low.

Some days I am not even sure I like writing, which tells me that I am on my way to becoming a real writer.

***

 

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am still feeling some kind of way about this election. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is I am feeling now. I’m having a hard time accepting the state of things and my fear feels unmanageable and unreasonable. I am alternating between outrage and numbness. Every other day I am either obsessively consuming the news or avoiding it entirely. I don’t know exactly how to cope, and instead, I am flailing within my own world hoping to find my footing soon.

I don’t know what else to say about this shit show, except to say that, to me, America doesn’t feel especially “great” at all. America feels pretty crappy right now. We’re not the worst, by far, but we are not the best. I have a bad feeling that our time on top has passed and we a falling fast. We can’t see it yet, but it’s been true for a while now. Whatever happens now we will only have ourselves—our stubbornness, our intolerance, and our egos—to blame.

***

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I have made no idea how I am spending Thanksgiving. I know, I know, it’s a little late to be trying to figure it out now, but you have to understand, I don’t even like Thanksgiving, for many reasons.

I’ve read that the real first Thanksgiving was actually in celebration of the Pequot Massacre in which “700 men, women and children” were killed by early settlers. I’m not sure if that is true, or if what I was taught in school was true but I do know that when it comes to the bloody history in this country, we are quick to gloss over or outright erase the worst of it.

We downplay the crimes committed against the Native Americans, and to celebrate Columbus Day and Thanksgiving feels like a slap in the face. We forget all the pain their ancestors endured, and we insult them by not offering a day of remembrance and reflection

Also, it seems a whole lot of work, a whole lot of consumption,  and a whole lot of waste under the guise of gratitude. It feels like a whole lot of bullshit.

Plus, I hate turkey.

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If we were having coffee, I’d apologize for my negative outlook on the holiday. I do think it’s great that families get together and spend a day enjoying good food and good company. I try to keep that in mind during these times. I just wish we would get rid of the back story.

***

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I had better get doing. It’s getting late, and there are words I have to write for this novel, or whatever it is. I plan to spend the rest of the night writing whatever I can. My hope is 2000 words; I’d be happy with 100 though.

I hope you had a good week and I wish you all the productivity and good vibes you can get in the upcoming days. Please, if you have a moment, drop a note in the comments and let me know how you have been. How are you coping since the election? What are your Thanksgiving plans? And what big projects, NaNoWriMo or otherwise, are you working on.

Until next time :)

My favorite shirt that doesn't belong to me :) #selfie

A post shared by Lisa Blair (@zenandpi) on

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Lisa

Hello! My name is Lisa. I find the human condition fascinating and I often write stuff about that. I blog at zenandpi.com but you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram, and if you like what I do, consider signing up for my newsletter. Thanks :)

9 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee // I Hate Writing and I Hate Turkey”

  1. Be proud of yourself for trying and sticking with NaNoWriMo. Any writing is better than none so you are making progress. Your feelings on the election mirror my own. I still feel disappointment but kind of waffle between fear, sadness, anger and numbness on any given day.

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  2. I enjoy reading your coffee posts, Lisa. Very insightful. I would say my writing projects are doing well, but I fear I won’t reach my goal of writing three stories by the end of the month. This week is going to be especially tough with work schedules, doctor’s appointments, and Thanksgiving.

    Recently, Thanksgiving has been a trigger for me. I don’t enjoy the holiday as much. Maybe it’s because I’m usually working on those days and I miss spending time with my family. Lately, certain members have been dealing with issues. My hope is that they will put those issues to rest.

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  3. (Not) writing for NanoWriMo LOL…writing a series of holiday-themed articles for a local paper, the Rio Grande Sun… :-) Just wrapped up a long-term sub gig for little kids…had them create a whole fall-themed village :-) Sleepy. Feeling the same way about the election…

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  4. Speaking of the election, have you seen the change.org petition to the Electoral College to elect Hillary instead? I coped by signing it.

    Good for you on sticking with your NaNo novel! I’m not going to make word goal either, probably, but I have some air travel and time off work in the next few days so maybe I’ll be able to make up some of the gap.

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  5. So sorry I’m seeing this so late! I have mixed feels about Thanksgiving myself for more personal reasons, so you aren’t by yourself. One of the not-so-personal reasons is that, as a stewardess getting people where they want to be for Thanksgiving, I have a hard time seeing that gratitude. What I see is people’s arrogance, selfishness, insensitivity and sense of entitlement. As far as I’m concerned, that’s who you really are. I know people have bad days, but how you act when things don’t go your way is you. Period. You find out who a person is very quickly under those circumstances. I don’t hate turkey, but tire of having it on Thanksgiving only (and then also on Christmas in my family. I sure do hate turkey by then!)

    I think it’s normal to have times to hate the thing you love; and yet, there’s nothing else you’s rather do. Hang in there!

    The election results were scary to me. As a black person and a woman, I remeber going to an exercise class the next night and looking around frantically. I’m not foolish enough to believe that every Trump supporter is a Klansman or Neo-Nazi, but I knew his election would make racist people think they have license to act on their racism. At times, I was overwhelmed by it all. I talked to my counselor about it, whom is black. I’m also even more grateful to be taking classes at the UFC Gym. It somehow makes me feel more secure, and it has been its own therapy in a way. I have a lot of thoughts about this, but we’ll save that for another time since I’ve made this comment long enough, lol.

    I hope you have had a great week so far, and that it finishes strong for you. Cheers!

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