Currently // December 2016

Welp, we’ve come to the end of another month, and I wanted to take a moment to share with you how I feel, all the changes I have made, and everything I am looking forward to. Here is what I am currently:

Writing poems, lots of poems. I am trying something a little different for awhile. I used to hate poetry but over the past year I’ve written a few small things here and there just to change it up, and I’ve slowly fallen in love with the medium. I’m thinking of putting together a collection next year if I can write anything worth sharing.

Planning my wedding! We’ve been engaged for so long, but we can’t ever seem to save enough to manage our time well enough to make it happen. We’ve had to push the date back again, BUT we have chosen a venue, and we even made a guest list. It’ll happen eventually, sigh.

Making a mini-zine all about how much I suck at making zines. I got the idea from this beautifully messy Tumblr post all about zine making. I’m over thinking the whole thing, I know, and I am scared too. I want to make something perfect, and that just isn’t the point. The words are the point. The ideas and the feelings and getting them out that is what I need to focus on.

Anticipating all the great movies, music, and TV shows coming in 2017. The return of Game of Thrones and Stranger Things! Star Wars: Episode VIII, Logan, and Wonder Woman! And, maybe, that fabled Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole project will drop? It’s going to be a wonderful year in pop culture.

Reading Republic by Plato. Wow, this is not a very fun read, but there are some pretty important ideas in this book, and I think I should try to understand them. I’ve been thinking a lot about elections, and democracy, and the inherent flaws of various systems of government, and I hear Plato had a few things to say on the subject.

Watching nothing at the moment. I finished TheOA, True Detective, and Narcos all within the last month. I’m on the lookout for some new shows to watch so if you have any recommendations drop them in the comments, please.

Feeling lost. I feel like I am floating out in the middle of the ocean with no idea in which direction to start swimming. I desperately want to find land, but I don’t know how to get there.  My self-esteem has taken a dip in the last few months, but I feel incredibly motivated and hopeful. I want to do something, but I don’t know what I can do or if I will be any good at whatever it is.

Needing to get back to my regular schedule already. I had hoped that having all this time off would be good for my writing but the holidays ruined all of that. I tried but the truth is having a day job is the best thing for me right now. It gives me a reason to get up early. It gives me a schedule to keep. It gives me a place to work quietly and away from distraction and the pull of Netflix and my couch. Just a few more days.

Loving this bit of advice from Seth Godin. This past year I didn’t write as much on current events as I wanted to simply because I felt I didn’t know enough about an issue to have anything to say about it. I told myself I didn’t know the first thing about politics, war, and civil rights but Seth reminded me that I did. I know something, I know how I feel so far, and I know that I don’t know it all, and knowing all that means I can start.

Hating Donald Trump, still. Sorry but I’m not sorry. The man seems to be doing whatever the hell he wants and making the entire country and nearly every institution we hold dear look like one big joke. I am embarrassed by him, and I am angry beyond words about his appointments and conflicts of interest.

Hoping that 2017 will be a year of motivation and milestones. I am working on a list of resolutions to share with you either later today or early tomorrow. There is a lot I want to do, and I think with focus and flexibility I can make some big things happen.

All in all, I had a good month and despite my emotional ups and downs, the deepening dread I feel for our collective future, and the stress of gift giving and receiving, I honestly felt surrounded by love and warmth and grateful for all the people in my life. I’m looking forward to January, and to 2017, and an incrementally better me, hopefully :)

***

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The inspiration for this post comes from Andrea at Create.Share.Love.

Featured image via Unsplash

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Lisa

Hello! My name is Lisa. I find the human condition fascinating and I often write stuff about that. I blog at zenandpi.com but you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram, and if you like what I do, consider signing up for my newsletter. Thanks :)

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