More Women of Color for 2017

4 thoughts on “More Women of Color for 2017”

  1. Thank you for expanding on that line. It has a lot of people extremely upset with me. So much so, that I was tempted to write an entire post on how and why I came to that decision. Now I don’t have to do that.
    What you’ve written here is almost exactly my thought process. This isn’t a rule we are living by forever, this is an experiment to see what happens when we decide that all new people coming into our lives will be women of color. I have to say that so far it has been freeing. I no longer feel as if owe my personal space to anyone just because we have similar interests or met at a conference.
    I don’t have to think twice. I don’t have to search their social media and then cross my fingers that they don’t end up attacking me in some large or small way. It is a relief. When I decide to make a post “friends only” I feel much more safe and much less anxious about my words, tone, and how I will be perceived.
    This is not to say that everyone else gets a free pass. Or that I haven’t ever been hurt by women of color or any of the other things people have made assumptions about.
    My takeaway from this experience so far has been that if there is a white woman who would like to be my friend on social media that badly she will wait until next year. And if not there are literally billions of other people in the world that we can both be friends with. Either way, we will all be fine.
    Thank you for walking us through your steps here. I am too emotionally exhausted at the moment to do so.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Contrary to popular opinion, racism, sexism, ageism, you-name-it-ism persist. I’m simply exhausted thinking of the off-the-cuff things I would love to respond to, and that’s after taking the time to respond to ignorant comments on what a “patriot” is. I read this post with great interest and am glad you are able to express yourself freely.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I commend you Lisa on having the courage to speak up. I have been thinking and feeling the same way for a while. It is somehow difficult to find literature on this subject in spite of some alarming statistics about how colored women are underpaid even more so than their white counterparts.

    I have been grown and supported by several white women as people of any other color. Though I’ve faced sexism from dudes in general, it hurts more when it comes from women who call themselves feminists. I am a brown international woman in the US. I have been here since 2008. I came here thinking the US welcomes anyone who works hard and earns an honest living. Racism is passe here. I didn’t see color. Now, it is somewhat different.

    My observation hanging out with white women (not all) as opposed to my own nationality:
    (I don’t see them pulling this on the guys or other white women)

    – I end up ‘leaning in’ more irrespective of our level of knowledge i.e. I make more of an effort engaging with them than the other way round
    – Things I say are ignored
    – I am flaked on, often
    – I am explained things I know already
    – My help is dismissed even if I offer it or credit is not given
    – My goof-ups are highlighted. I am penalized more
    – My achievements, even if I’m the only one volunteering to do it, are ‘part of the job’

    If you notice, a majority of white women treat colored women the way they say men treat them. I don’t know if they are self-aware about it but it sucks. The other ladies in circles of my own nationality are too complacent about racism so they respond with ‘Yeah yeah, they’re all racist’. But from their (white women’s) views, as they say it, it sounds like they don’t want to be.

    A simple experiment for white women who don’t know what I am talking about: Download the Bumble app and set it on bff. Try browsing with a colored woman’s display pic instead of your own. Compare your matches. You’ll have better luck with colored women than white, which of course is a small minority. You trust us less

    Like

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