If We Were Having Coffee: Late Night Bailey’s Edition

If we were having coffee this late I would definitely be adding Bailey’s and some coconut cream. Trust me it’s delicious. We’d be having coffee this late because I am so very exhausted. Yesterday I got my chest worked on and I started at 4:45 pm and ended at about 11:30 pm, minus breaks it was about 6 hours of me getting stabbed with tiny needles. If we were having coffee this would probably be just about all I talked about.

I swear it has to be up there as one of the hardest and most painful things I’ve ever done. On top of that I had to lie perfectly still no matter how badly it hurt. The nerves on my chest we shot by the end but instead of being numb they were all active at once. I was in so much pain at the end I was shaking uncontrollably and I could barely think straight or hold anything in my hands. I was happy though :)

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If we were having coffee I would take this time to explain why exactly I have a large (and very expensive) octopus tattoo on my chest. See, octopuses* are my very favorite animals. A lot people think that is weird but that’s only because they don’t know how awesome octopuses are! If you are one of those people here are some facts you need to know:

#1. Octopuses are considered the most intelligent of all invertebrates. Scientific studies are increasingly confirming that they are sentient creatures.

#2. They have been observed using tools. In 2009, scientists reported they had watched veined octopuses (Amphioctopus marginatus) picking up discarded coconut shells and using them like mobile homes.

#3. They have been found to play with a ‘toy’ and to have individual responses and individual temperaments, with some scientists believing they have individual personalities.

#4. All octopuses are venomous, but only the small blue-ringed octopuses are known to be deadly to humans.

#5. Octopuses have three hearts. Two pump blood through each of the two gills, while the third pumps blood through the body.

#6. Octopuses have blue blood.

#7. Their suckers are extremely strong. Bigger ones can an hold up to 35 lbs. The suckers are also extremely sensitive; they can pick up subtle chemical signals and move individually, even folding in half in a pinching gesture.

#8. If all else fails, an octopus can lose an arm to escape a predator’s grasp and re-grow it later with no permanent damage.

You get the point, right? They’re awesome! The thing I think limits more people from seeing how awesome they are is the fact that they don’t live very long. Most live 3-5 years, some for only 6 months. Pretty much after mating they are done for. This also prevents us from studying them very well. Still though they are awesome!

My octopus is a particular one, a coconut octopus (or veined octopus). It’s my favorite because it uses coconut shells it finds on the ocean floor to make a sort of portable home for itself. It’s been observes holding two shells while walking along the ocean on two legs! I also love its color. This deep purple-ish red. Took my tattoo artist awhile to mix up some colors and match the pictures the best she could. I think she did well. She even got the yellow around the siphon.

If we were having coffee I’m sure you would be thoroughly bored with hearing about octopuses at this point. I would apologize for rambling on but I just so excited about these creatures and I am happy I have one of my own on my chest for life. By the way, I’ve decided it is a “she” and her name is Winifred, after the wife in The Shining. :)

I would probably stop now before you thought I was too crazy. I would of course want to hear about how you are doing. We might need refills on the coffee and Bailey’s now and maybe there could be some sort of sweet dessert too. I really hope you are well and you had a good week. If not I hope the next one is better.

P.S. My lady also got her tattoo worked on, here a bonus pictures of hers.

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P.S.S. In case you’re curious my artist’s name is Alissa and she works at Bound by Design. If you live in the Denver, CO area and want some work you should check her out.

*According to Grammarist.com Octopi is the supposed plural of octopus, but it is not exactly correct. I personally like octopi but for consistency I went with the correct pluralization, octopuses. Octopodes can also be considered correct but in my opinion sounds ugly.

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Skinny Shame

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If you’ve been on the internet at all these past few days you have probably heard about Victoria’s Secret recent campaign and the backlash that followed. If not basically they took a photo featuring a bunch of models and across them the phrase “The Perfect ‘Body'”. Many claim the the campaign promotes unrealistic ideals and 10 women got together to recreate the photo with “real women”.

Now I actually agree with the claims and what those women have to say. Advertisements should feature women of all shapes and sizes and featuring only skinny women does create unrealistic ideals. My gripe with this and other responses like it is the idea that skinny women are not real women too. Look at the recreation, I believe there should be a skinny girl in there too because there are many skinny “real women” too. In fact I am one of them!

Now I have seen a lot of people respond by saying that skinny people are already represented in advertising and media and so do not need to be represented in the responses but I disagree with that stance.

First of all, yes, skinny women are over represented but that doesn’t mean all skinny women have the perfect body that these professional models have. Nor does it mean that all skinny girls are shaped the same like the models in the picture. I’d like to see skinny women like be whose breasts are small and have no hips yet still managed to get stretch marks. Skinny girls who have a belly pouch and chicken legs. Not all skinny girls are a model of perfect beauty and health and we need to see women in magazines who look like us too.

And second, a lot of us support these campaigns that feature everyday women and want to be included because we are just as fed up with this crap as curvy girls are. I don’t think this should be a “real women” vs “skinny women” thing. I think this should be about what is realistic and for the most part that is being accomplished except for perpetuating the idea that all skinny girls are perfect models and not what a real women is.

My whole adult life I’ve had other women treat me badly because I was skinny. I’m not trying to be whiny here. I totally get why and I do understand my privilege but what they never understood was that I not only wasn’t actively trying to be skinny, it’s just my genetics, but that I also didn’t identify with what I was seeing on TV either. I tried to talk to them about my insecurities I had and about how much I agreed with their views but I was always shut down and often the conversation ended with me being called a “skinny bitch”.

As a black woman I never thought those women represented me anyway. But the women that I looked up to, women like Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Rhianna, were all curvy and voluptuous. I wanted to be curvy so bad because in the community I grew up in having tits and ass was everything! It got to a point a few years ago where I was trying so hard to gain weight I was actually eating 6 meals a day! I ate a whole lot of peanut butter and banana sandwiches and I added butter to everything I ate. I gained some weight but I didn’t have the time nor the appetite to keep it up. I am very proud of the weight I did gain though.

After that I worked on just loving the body I had but these campaigns of women showing what “real women” look like kind of hurt. Some girls are curvy and some aren’t but we are all real women and we should be represented TOGETHER. Instead skinny women are being excluded and I don’t get why. I would love to see more of these done with one REAL skinny girl included too. We have to remember that we are all REAL WOMEN!

Anyway, that’s my two cents….

I Love to Annoy You :)

One thing I love about my girlfriend is her ability to put up with my goofiness. I make it my mission everyday to make her either laugh or make her feel exhausted by me. If I make her laugh I feel good. If I exhaust or annoy her I laugh, and then I feel good. I go to great lengths and often look stupid just to get her to crack a smile. I do this because it brightens her day and keeps our relationship fun.

On thing I like to do is send her random text messages while she’s working about the stupid things I do or see during the day. I know she’s busy being a super serious supervisor but I believe she needs to smile more. I like to think I break up her day a little and get her mind out of the shit she has to put up with all day. I like to think that but I’m sure I just make her question her decision to marry me more than anything. Here’s today’s text I sent her:

Me: I bought this big thing of mozzarella
cheese thinking I would eat it over 
the next few days......I already ate 
half of it :/

Her: Oh goodness

Me: LOL my belly hurts

Her: Oh goodness!

Me: LOL and I'm your future wife!

Her: Hmm... The wedding could be called off

Me: Noooooooooo!

She hasn’t text back yet and I can only assume that means she is currently calling our families to tell them the news that the wedding is off. She just can’t marry someone who eats half a log of mozzarella cheese in 20 minutes. I can’t say I blame her.

Another thing I like to do is ruin her girly romantic comedies. One way I do this by waiting for the point when the guy and the girl finally realized they loved each other all along and my girlfriend is feeling all the emotions the I yell out “POUND TOWN!!!!”. Hahahaha I ruin the moment every time! I also like to ask her multiple time leading up to that moment when in fact are the guy and the girl going to have sex because the movie is boring and needs some sex to liven things up a bit. Haha she hates that.

And finally the thing I do that probably annoys my girlfriend the most is bothering her during the times when she is trying to be most private. For example, she’s in the bathroom…..on the toilet….she been in there for awhile….I get really close to the door and say “babe?”. She responds “yes?”, already sounding annoyed. I ask her if she’s ok and she says yes, sounding more annoyed. Then I get closer and whisper “babe?”. She responds again, “yes?”. The I ask “are you pooping?!”. At this point she starts yelling and telling me to go away. When she does finally come out of the bathroom the look on her face is all exasperation and anger. Pure comedy!

I also like to wait until she a good ten minutes into her shower and I walk in and pull back the curtain at least halfway and just start talking to her about the most mundane things, or I ask her a stupid question like “do you think this yogurt is still good?” or “what were you thinking about having for dinner”. Then I stare at her as creepily as I can until she gets so irritated she starts yelling. The great thing about this though is there’s nothing she can do to make me leave the bathroom! Bwahahaha!

How she puts up with me I don’t know. This is just a small sampling of the things I do to piss her off. I might even make this a regular post here. “The Ways in Which I Irritate My Girlfriend and Make Her Wonder Why The Hell She Is With Me” sounds like a great title. Underneath it all I think she appreciates it though. Without me I don’t think she would ever laugh. She needs me :)

Not Too Sick for NaBloPoMo

I stayed home from work today. I had a bad migraine last night and didn’t sleep well plus I think I might be sick. My ears have been hurting and popping lately and I have a cough and an occasional runny nose. It’s been like this off and on for about 2 weeks. It’s like I get over it and it just keeps coming back! I really hope I get better soon.

I’m lucky that my job has a pretty lenient attendance policy. We get 10 paid days a year before they start the disciplinary process. That might not seem like much except I work for a school district so on top of that we have many, many, other days off. I usually don’t miss much work anyway. I think the most days I’ve missed in a year is 7. I got the flu that year and had to miss three days in a row. This year I have missed two.

Even though I hardly ever miss work I still feel bad when I have to call in. I know that my bosses don’t like it. Luckily one of my bosses is my girlfriend and she doesn’t mind. Honestly I don’t think anyone else really minds either but my mind tells me I am being a horrible employee. My girlfriend tells me my mind is wrong.

I will probably be at work tomorrow. I’m not sure though because right now I actually feel worse than I did when I woke up. It’s my own fault though. I didn’t rest like I was supposed to and instead spent the day cleaning the house to please my girlfriend. She is happy with the house but not happy with me. I’m coughing pretty bad now and she wishes I would have just slept all day.

I better head to bed now. I need the rest and my writing isn’t very good due to my sickness. I think I should quit while I’m behind. I am glad I was able to do something though. With it being NaBloPoMo and all I can’t let this cold stop me!

Good night everyone :)

Musings and Ramblings on the Election Results

I’m not going to pretend to be very informed about the issues and what happened last night. I am, however, taking time today to figure out where the country stands, post-election. At first glance this morning it seemed a bit depressing. I looked at a map of the election results and I saw a whole lot of red. I’m not going to lie, that scares me.

I should clarify here that I am not exactly a Democrat. In fact, I am a registered libertarian. I like the core values of social-liberalism coupled with fiscal responsibility. I don’t always agree with other Libertarians though and I do not like their tendency to vote Republican. I consider myself to be a left leaning Libertarian who is leans farther left every election cycle. In my opinion people who say they are socially liberal are only socially liberal when it comes to things they want. Libertarians I have met in person often end up showing me their true colors over time. They are often secret racists or homophobes.

So what about the results? Well like I said, seeing a whole lot of red scares me. I’m afraid that all the progress we’ve made for marriage equality will come to a screeching halt over the next few years. I’m afraid reproductive rights will be set back. I’m afraid affordable health care is out the door. And I’m also afraid that no progress will be made as Republicans continue to hinder any good the President tries to do.

My biggest issue is trying to figure out how this happened? A lot of people are saying that this country has made it clear that we are unhappy and want a different kind of change but I don’t believe that is entirely true. I believe two things were working against us.

One, people who identify as Liberals are often the ones who believe voting does no good. Yesterday I noticed a lot of liberals, both online and in my own circle of friends, who not only chose not to vote, but even bragged about it! Their reasons were mainly because they believe their vote didn’t matter, they didn’t like any of the candidates, or they were ignorant of the issues.

I honestly never hear Conservatives talk this way. Conservatives believe whole heartedly in the voting process and always show up for their party and candidates. I believe that if Liberals showed the same enthusiasm we would easily win!

The other issue is the Millennials. The Millennials were born anywhere from the early 80s to the early 2000s. I myself am a Millennial. We tend to be more liberal, we tend to vote Democratic, but we also tend to sit out midterm elections. I blame the candidates for that though. I think young people have a hard to identifying with candidates and I think a lot of young people think midterm elections are boring and unimportant. Candidates need to work harder to connect with young people and let them know they care about them.

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I can honestly say that even though I did vote is was not because any one candidate really spoke to me or made me feel like I was truly represented. I voted because being a lesbian politics often directly affects my day to day life. I can easily see though how the everyday average person can feel like politics has nothing to do with them. I can see the disconnect between these candidates and regular people who are younger, poorer, and non-white.

So whats done is done now and hopefully the next two years won’t be too bad. I honestly do hope the Republicans can do some good, but I am afraid of their intentions. I am thinking of getting more involved myself. I think I’d like to look in to volunteering in some way next election round. I need to do something because for me this is very important. I love my country very much and I want to see us move forward. I want to see us become a country that cares for all it’s citizens and where the American Dream we all talk about can be realized by everyone.

Results Map via Politico

Graph via NBC News – Where Are the Millennials? Midterm Voters Skew Old

It’s Voting Day!

Here in the U.S. it’s that time again. It’s voting day! I admit I am usually a much more informed voter than I am today but through the power of Google and social media I am taking time today to look up candidates and ballot issues and doing my best to vote with my conscious.

I am a big believer in the power of democracy and I am encouraging everyone I know to get out and vote today too. Unfortunately, my efforts are being met with a lot of indifference. Most people are either claiming ignorance of the issues or lack of confidence in the system as their primary reasons for not voting today. I fell like all I’m hearing are excuses for laziness and a means of skirting responsibility when the government isn’t working the way the people want it to.

For me voting is of the utmost importance. How can we hope to change anything when so many people are choosing to not even get involved in the process. This country is very polarized and so many of these elections and issues are poll at an almost 50/50 split. In this day and age every vote really does matter.

This morning I took to Twitter to help encourage the undecided and uninformed to at least make some kind of effort today. One person tweeted that even if you are uninformed but have good intentions you should vote, if for no other reason than to cancel out the votes of the uninformed but ill-intentioned. I liked that. There are many out there who are voting along party lines just because their party has more racists or hate poor people more. The good intentioned could really even things out.

I was also surprised to see so many women and POC proclaiming proudly that they weren’t going to vote today. Most of them claimed that voting doesn’t matter and that the government will do whatever they want to do anyway. I cannot prove that this isn’t true but I do not that if it isn’t true the people who want the government to be able to do whatever they want will today by default. So I figure it’s better to make the effort just in case.

I also have issues with people who don’t vote, yet constantly complain about the government. We get mad that abortion rights are still an issue, but then we choose not to vote. We get mad the there is no help for the poor, then we choose not to vote. We get mad that marriage equality isn’t moving forward fast enough, then we choose not to vote. This make no sense! Laws are changed in many ways but the easiest and simplest way to change the country and the laws is to VOTE!

And if that doesn’t sway you, at least try to remember that there were many people who fought and died so that you could be heard today. Remember that there was a time when whole groups of people didn’t get a say in who was elected or what laws were enacted. Some of those people were threatened, and beaten, and killed, so that you could be represented. I think the least you could do to thank them is to take a few minutes of your time every two years to go and vote.

So please, please, please, for the love of God, go vote today. It isn’t hard and as long as you do your best and vote with good intentions I promise you will feel good about it afterwards. And you get a sticker! :)

Monday Motivation

It’s a dreary and snowy Monday morning here in (typically) sunny Colorado. Monday is hard enough without weather like this tempting me to stay in bed under the warm covers and sleep the day away. It’s work time though and I have shit that needs getting done, sigh. So I’m up with my cup of tea and some music to get me motivated. Today is a fresh start and a new chance to do things my future self will thank me for!

On top of the weather making things hard I’m also adjusting to the time change. “Fall back” has me all thrown off and thinking I’m late to everything. My mind may have had a slow start but my body has been in panic mode since I woke up. I will say it’s nice to see the sun again in the morning though.

As far as I can tell this week will be pretty ordinary. I have work to do but not enough to stress about. My team at work is urging me to take it easy before I burn myself out too much. I think I’ll take the advice and relax a little.

I imagine the week will drag though. It always does when you are looking forward to something and I most certainly am. This Friday and Saturday me and my ole lady are going to get the tattoos on our chests finished up!!! We got outlines done last December but due to money issues we weren’t able to get back in as quickly as we’d hoped for color. My artist warned me that if we waited too long we’d have to do the outline over again. I did my best to get the money together because she charges $100 an hour and I do not want to have to pay for another outline!

So that’s all I got going on this week. As always I’m going to work on staying positive and ever mindful. I hope to enjoy every moment and take time to help others and strengthen relationships with my loved ones. I hope you all have a happy week and I wish you luck in all your endeavors. :)