If We Were Having Coffee // I Slept a Whole Day Away, Again

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

― Abraham Lincoln

Hello, dear readers! Whew look at the time, I’m so sorry it’s late. Then again, coffee in the evening can be just as nice as coffee in the morning, you know? Coffee that you drink not because you have to but because you want to because coffee isn’t just for keeping you awake but actually tastes good too, when you take the time to make it right, serve it right, and sip it slowly.

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I was actually up early this morning as I always am now because Of my stomach and my medication but I wasn’t feeling well and as, after I had eaten, I fell right back to sleep on the couch. I fell asleep for about hours, waking here and there and trying to will myself up and around the house and losing every time.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it is very unlike me. I like naps, don’t get me wrong but not that early in the day and not for that long.

My new medicine still isn’t working yet, and my body is just tired. I’m working on accepting that this is my new normal, at least for now. The doctor said I needed to be patient and wait five or six weeks to see if this medicine will help and it hasn’t even been three, yet so I have a long way to go still. In the meantime, I’m being taken off the steroid which is contributing to this yucky, sleeping feeling.

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am so bummed to have to return to work tomorrow. This past week was our spring break, and while I did have to work a little, a very, very little, and there was some bad weather, we did manage to get out and have some fun.

Thursday we went to the Denver Art Museum for the Star Wars costume exhibit which turned out to be much more in depth and interesting than I thought it would. I was glad for that, I didn’t feel so guilty dragging my girlfriend to it.

It should have been called the Padmé Amidala exhibit, though, since she had the most costumes throughout the films and each was more elaborate and more beautiful than the last. If you have no idea what I am talking about you need to stop here and go start a Star Wars marathon.

Afterward, we tried out a new seafood restaurant, one we had never heard of but had received a Groupon gift for. It was in a hidden part of town I had never now about before, with a few blocks of shops, dining, and bars surrounded by housing. I’ve lived in this city nearly my whole life and never knew about this gem. The food was great, and I can’t wait to go back to the area for more exploring.

Friday we were supposed to head up to Boulder, CO but the weather went to shit, and neither of us wanted to visit an outdoor mall in the rain. We ended up at the movies instead, my favorite thing to do anytime, and saw Raw, an artsy coming of age horror film lots of cannibalism and gore. Then we went for sushi and shopping :)

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you that my first post for the Blogging A to Z Challenge, A is for the Arctic, Which is Melting, turned out pretty well I think, but I’m sitting here quietly panicking because I have nothing else written, at all! I’m the worst blogger ever I swear. Like, sometimes I don’t even know what I’m doing here, but I can’t stop?

Anyway, I have notes for tomorrow’s post, and some vague ideas for a few other days, but that’s it. I don’t know what I expect you to do about it, except throw me a few ideas if you have any? I’m looking for catastrophic failures of humanity here. News stories about our inability to save ourselves or any other life on this planet. I want to know about all the ways we are destroying whatever is right and good inside ourselves. You’d think I have plenty of ideas, and I do, but I need them narrowed down to specifics.

But, whether nor not I get help, I am determined to do the best I can all through April and during this challenge. It’s important to me to tell these stories.

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you that, sadly, I have to go. In the short time, we have been here I have switched from coffee to red wine, and my lovely girlfriend has finished making what looks like the best lasagna I have ever seen. Tonight is a bit of a special night, we are watching the finale of Big Little Lies, and I don’t want to miss a moment.

I hope you had a wonderful week and a very relaxing weekend. SLEave a note in the comments below and catch me up. I’d love to hear how you are and what you’ve been up to.

Until next time :)

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Written for to the Weekend Coffee Share link-up hosted by Nerd in the Brain

Featured image via Unsplash

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A Most Embarrassing Thing

Today I want to talk about something I really don’t like talking about. I don’t like talking about it because it is embarrassing and frustrating and sometimes scary. See….something is wrong with my body, more specifically, something is wrong with my digestive system, and it’s really starting to affect my life in a very negative way.

I’ve had digestive problems for most of my life, but for the in the past they were pretty mild. By digestive problems I mean gas, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, abdominal pain, urgency, bleeding, and fatigue. It’s all very gross and “TMI”, I know. Over the years the symptoms have come and gone and every time I hope it is the last time, but it always comes back. In fact it’s starting to seem like every time it comes back it is worse.

At this point I am planning my life around access to a bathroom. I don’t like to go do things where I will be away from a toilet for too long. It’s very frustrating to live like this and I hate being in such pain all the time. I want to go to the doctor to finally find out what is wrong with me and figure out how to make it stop so I can live my life like a normal person. The problem is an issue of money. I don’t have insurance right now and I can’t really afford to pay out of pocket for the tests and procedures I am sure I will need. I know my girlfriend is frustrated too. It can’t be easy seeing me live like this.

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For now I am just trying to eat a more “bland” diet and be easy on my digestive tract. I am also doing a lot of research and I think what I’m dealing with is some sort of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, like Crohn’s disease or Ulcerative colitis. They sound scary but at this point I don’t care what the diagnosis is, as long as I finally have one. I want the reassurance, the confirmation, that I am not crazy, or lazy, that I have a real problem! That I have a valid reason for not being able to do everything everyone can all the time.

Doing research has also lead me to a few blogs, particularly on Tumblr, by people who suffer from similar problems as me. I was so excited to find other people who understood what it’s like to live their lives around toilets! I told my girlfriend I had found my people! She rolled her eyes but she is happy I found people who understand. Once I get an official diagnosis I will probably connect more with these people but for now it is at least a comfort. I don’t feel so alone or embarrassed, or scared….

Some times I am in so much pain I feel like my insides must be all messed up. I feel like whatever is wrong is going to kill me. Maybe not immediately, although I worry about that too when it gets really, really bad. I mostly worry that my life expectancy is greatly reduced. I assume my body isn’t functioning as efficiently as other’s and it can’t sustain that for very long. I imagine I will die early because I have crappy intestines. No pun intended.

I wrote this for two reasons. For one, I need to get this out. I have no one, besides Chardonnay, to talk to about this and I hate to make her worry so much. Two, I feel the need to join the cause to make things like this less taboo. Just like my post last week on periods this is something that I should feel okay to talk about when I need to. I shouldn’t be afraid or embarrassed to tell people why I can’t do things, why I am tired, and why exactly my stomach hurts, and nobody else going through these things should be embarrassed either!

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