Currently // May 2018: Lost and Found

May is a month for anxious anticipation, a time of preparation for the season to come. It exists in a space to warm to be called true spring, but too unpredictable to be summer, yet.

Throughout the month we packed up our winter wear, broke out the shorts, and got out to work in the yard. We watched pools be cleaned and waited for the parks to open. We cleaned up our grills and stocked up on meat and beer. And then, all of a sudden, it was here. School is out. The pools are open. Grills are being fired up nightly, and we’re all looking forward to the freedom of the next few months. It’s finally summertime!

Personally, this May has been hard on me. Last month, I was getting sicker, but things were still good, and I felt happy. I was celebrating my birthday, seeing friends and family, and enjoying being the very center of my known universe. By the start of May, my health took a sharp dive downward, and I fell into bouts of moodiness and depression waiting to find answers. I felt lost.

In this last week though, I’ve seen a shift. I started a new medication, and almost immediately, I felt like myself again. I’m watching myself improve with cautious optimism, but deep down I am daring to dream that I’ll get to enjoy this summer without pain, fear, or shame.

But first, here is what I am currently:

Writing my remaining Blogging A to Z Challenge posts, still. I’m hoping you’ll cut me a little slack here, I’ve been having a hard time. I’m taking some time to myself this week to catch up or at least get back into a daily writing habit, even if I don’t always post here. IT’s going well, but I’ll be honest, this series of posts weighs heavy on me. I’m beginning to overthink it and starting to get bored. I think I’ll start changing things up a little bit. I miss doing my book reviews and my Monday motivational things. I’m also very ready to begin a new series, something about love, or poetry, or maybe a series of dialogues?

Making some very bad cut out poetry. I love blackout poetry but I recently found the work of Kelsey Landsgaard on Instagram, and I immediately wanted to make my own sad girl cut and paste poems too. It’s easier and certainly more satisfying, but I still suck so I haven’t shared much yet. Just because you can paste a few found lines together doesn’t make you a poet. You have to find the right lines that say the right thing in a new way. Landsgaard is very good at what she does, and I need a lot of practice.

Planning a vacation or two in the next few to six months. We want to camp for a few nights before school starts again, then we’ll spend a long weekend around Labor Day somewhere where I can smell the sea and fill up on crab and oysters cheap. Before Halloween, I want to head to the West Coast and see my nephews-in-law that are growing up there. I want to start seeing the world while I still can, and this year we’re getting our traveling feet wet.

Anticipating my summer work schedule and the next school year’s bid. The end of this one hit me a little hard. My route was easy. I got to know some wonderful kids, and I had a driver I really got along with. I’m hoping to do the same next year, but there are people higher than me in seniority looking for the same. In the meantime, I am lucky to have a summer schedule that is as flexible as a job can get. I can come and go as I please with no attendance policy to adhere to as long as the work gets done. It might sound great but it also means I have to be self-motivated and self-starting and I’ve never been very good at that

Reading The Odyssey, still. It’s a pain, but I have passed the halfway point by promising myself I only have to read two chapters a day. The limit helps me stay focused on what is happening in the story without getting too bored or discouraged by all the repetition and description. I think next month I will tackle The Iliad. It sounds like a more exciting read than this.

I also read The Girl with all the Gifts by M.R. Carey, (A heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and eerie read well worth your time!, proper review coming soon!), and I started The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorn yesterday. I plan to finish it, The Odyssey, and at least one Shakespeare play, probably Romeo and Juliet, by the end of the June.

Watching Westworld on HBO, but it’s confusing the crap out of me, it’s still the coolest thing on TV right now though. I finished season 2 of Atlanta on FX, and no words I could cobble together here could adequately convey how unique and groundbreaking this show is. I’ve also been keeping up with Vox’s new Netflix show, Explained, and binge-watching old episodes of The Office with my girlfriend. As for movies, I saw A Quiet Place, which was amazing, and watched an HBO original called The Tale, an unflinching look at the reality of coming to terms with childhood sexual abuse. A must watch.

Feeling a little lost, but that isn’t anything new. I’ve suddenly got so much time and energy on my hands, and I’m not sure how to spend it. I do things that feel like they mean something but at the end of the day my hands are empty, and I have nothing useful to show for the privilege. I feel guilty wasting what I have this way, but I’m not sure how to do better. How do you mix time, plus energy, and all that you have in you, and form it into something beautiful and comprehensible to the world? The artists and writers I follow make it seem so easy, and the secrets they share don’t seem to be the real secret at all. Or maybe I’m just being a coward and doing everything but what I need to be doing because doing everything else feels a lot easier and a lot less humiliating than creating.

Fearing, for the first time, what the future will bring for someone else entirely. My fiance is in a strange position with a big opportunity that she may not be ready for, and that she may not even want. I’m doing my best to hear out her fears and her own wants, but I’m wary of offering advice or steering her in one direction or another. It’s her life after all. The choice isn’t easy to make though, and it’s causing her a lot of stress. On the one hand, this opportunity may not come around again, but on the other, if she decides to move forward and finds she isn’t happy she won’t be allowed to move back again. I just hope the choice is made soon and whatever she decides she can live with.

Reflecting on the loss of The Daily Post as a source of inspiration and motivation for what I have always tried to do here. It was because of The Daily Post, and their Blogging University courses that I first began to experiment and work out what kind of blogger I am. It was where many of you first found me after my post Growing Up and Kissing Girls, a response to a Blogging University assignment on vignettes, was featured on the old Freshly Pressed. It was shocking to hear they were shutting down but it was quite the wake-up call too. I have fallen far from those first days of blogging, and things have not turned out the way I first imagined them, and I realize that I want to get back a little of what I got out of The Daily Post, permission to get personal. To be more than just a creator of content, but to be a human being. I’m grateful for the lesson, and the reminder, and hope that future bloggers will find something, somewhere, a little like what The Daily Post was for me.

Needing a clearer head and a clearer path. I need to know what I want, and I need the courage and the focus to just do it without worry. I need passion. I need a project to sweat about, worry over, to obsess over in the most unhealthy way. I need something to do that doesn’t necessarily make me happy, but satisfies some very specific, and possibly quite dark, need in me, and then I need it to be made into a tangible, relatable, and marketable product. Is that too much to ask?

Learning how to be active again. I’ve actually started running! I used to tell people I hated running, that I hated any kind of exercise, but that isn’t true. I just never know how to start or what I should do, and it’s hard to keep the habit up if it isn’t your thing. Now that I am feeling better I want to start doing better by my body, and that means waking up an hour early every morning to get out and sweat it out around the neighborhood. Next month I might break out one of the Pennyboards that fell into my possession and start learning how to skateboard too.

Loving waking up to warmth, birds chirping, and the scent of cut grass and flowers wafting through my open windows every morning. I love knowing there will be long hours of sunshine and warmth well into the night. That heat can be exhausting during the day though, but most afternoons, and more and more regularly as the summer wears on, we’ll get severe thunderstorm like clockwork. They can be scary, but a little exciting too. A drama to live through every afternoon.

Hating the revelations over what ICE has been doing down at the US-Mexico border. I’ve been hearing about children being separated from their parents, and being forced to appear in court alone even as young as 3 and 4! The US has a long and ugly history of threatening the families of brown people as a tool to subdue them, and this country should be very sensitive to that histroy. We have to think long and hard about what kind of people we are and start sooner rather than generations from now, out of shame, to rectify this evil.

Hoping that what happened in Ireland is a sign and a motivation for nations and their people around the world to consider access to abortion not just good health care policy, but a fundamental right of women everywhere. Here in the US, the laws surrounding abortion access have quietly become stricter and stricter, and many states have made it so difficult to keep clinics open that they have effectively banned abortion within their borders. I hope to see a reversal on the trend soon. Restricting access to abortions doesn’t prevent abortions, it only prevents safe abortions. These laws kill women. We need to write fair abortion access rules into our federal law and get rid of this cruel “gag rule” that keeps women from making safe choices about their bodies abroad.

So yeah, all in all, May was a crazy emotional rollercoaster. I can’t believe the change I’ve gone through in just these 31 days. I really felt like a shell of myself, and now I’m feeling better than ever. Spring is all about rebirth, and this is the closest I’ve ever felt to that for sure. I won’t say it happened for a reason, but it was meaningful to me.

But enough about me, how about you? How did May treat you? How the weather where you are and have you made any traveling plans for the summer? Do you think this country is losing its place as the moral authority of the world? Did we ever deserve such a title anyway? Let me know in the comments!

***

Thanks for reading! If you like this post check out my weekly-ish newsletter for inspiring reads + existential musings on life, love, and inevitable human suffering. Or help support what I do by sharing a virtual cup of coffee.

The inspiration for these posts comes from Andrea at Create.Share.Love.

Photo by Cédric Dhaenens on Unsplash

Advertisements

May 2017 // The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is Here

Summer doesn’t officially start for another few weeks here in the northern hemisphere, but in my heart and mind, it’s already here. This is my favorite time of year but to be honest, I’m not sure why. The heat is intense, the bugs are everywhere, and the threat of severe weather is worrisome but something about the season makes me feel alive and happy again. I love the rain that rolls in the evenings and the warm nights I spend on bar patios with friends. Summer is when new connections are forged, and beautiful memories are made. I’m so ready to see what June has in store for me.

But before I do, here is what I am currently:

Writing some essays, or, I am learning how to write essays anyway. I’ve decided, I think, that becoming an essayist is the dream. I’m hoping to learn by example. I’m consuming popular longform non-fiction pieces from my favorite publications, reading print magazines, and this month I’ll be diving into some work from one of the greats, James Baldwin. So, the writing around here is going to get a bit more serious, and some of the fun and personal type stuff, book reviews, poetry, etc., will probably be moving to Tumblr.

Planning the design of the first issue of Zen and Pi the zine. I now I have been talking about this forever, but this time I mean it. I wanted to complete one project this summer, and this is it. By the middle of August, I need to have something ready for print at the very least. I’ll have more info next month.

Making some big home improvements! I haven’t written much about my house, but that’s because I hate it. We bought it years ago, during the recession, when we didn’t know what we were doing. We got a good deal, but it needs a lot of work. Unfortunately, we’ve learned that home ownership isn’t exactly for us and we’ve barely made any progress fixing this place up but if I ever want to be happy here, or sell this place and find a home I love, I have to start. First up is a new swamp cooler, then paint, then flooring maybe?

Anticipating Game of Thrones season 7! Okay, so GoT doesn’t actually premiere until July 16th, but it’s all I can think about, as far as media and pop culture go. Outside of that, I’m looking forward to Denver’s Pridefest the weekend of the 17th. I wish the parade wasn’t scheduled for the same day as Father’s Day though. Every year I feel like I have to choose or try to squeeze in both.

Reading The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, one of the many used books I’ve picked up over the past few weekends. I finally finished The Mind’s I: Fantasies And Reflections On Self & Soul by Daniel C. Dennett and Douglas R. Hofstadter. This is my second attempt. It was still hard to get through, but this time I really tried, and it was so worth it. I’ll still need a third read through though.

Watching Sense8 and House of Cards on Netflix. Sense8 is visually amazing, the acting is on point, and sci-fi enough to get you out of your head and away from all the crap going on in the news. House of Cards is the opposite. It’s this world, only worse, which, I’ve learned, can be therapeutic in its own way. Plus, Claire Underwood is the smartest, sexiest, most badass female character I love to hate at the moment *heart eyes emoji*.

Feeling better! Last month my doctor expressed some doubt that the medication we started with would keep my ulcerative colitis symptoms under control. I won’t know for sure until I’m off of the steroid I’m on for short-term relief, but so far, through tapering off, I’m still doing okay. I think this is a good sign. If I feel good through the end of June, I may be able to stay on these meds rather than moving into harsher options. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Needing a little reassurance from the universe that all this good in my life isn’t a sign that terrible things are on the horizon. I don’t know how to feel gratitude and practice mindfulness with all this anxiety. I don’t deserve so much in life, I’m worried there will be hell to pay eventually.

Loving the fact that my local Alamo Drafthouse is hosting a WOMEN ONLY screening of the new Wonder Woman film and gives no fucks about the backlash from weak egoed men. I’m also living the fact that they offered free tickets to the new creepy movie. It Comes at Night for rewards members. Seriously, if there’s an Alamo Drafthouse in your city, there’s no reason for you to go to any other theater. If there isn’t, bug them until there is.

Hating that I’m losing my route next year. It’s a lot to get into, a lot of politics and specifics I’m not even sure I’m allowed to get into but basically, the school district I work for is experiencing an employee shortage, and things have to change to maximize the people we have. So my easy-peasy route with the perfect hours and the awesome kid is going away, and I have to make some tough choices next year. Also, I still hate Donald Trump and every single Republican asshat pushing cruel and destructive healthcare and environmental policies. I cannot wait for midterm elections!

Hoping the summer passes slowly, but I know it won’t. The winter months drag on for eternity, and the summer is never long enough to recover from the cold and drab and depressing. Maybe I’ll learn how to slow down time?

All in all, this month was good, but I may have been too busy looking ahead to really appreciate it. I have to try harder to appreciate where I am. Where I am going will come soon enough, and when it does, I want to know I enjoyed every step of the way there.

So, how about you? Was May good or bad to you? What are you looking forward to in June? Are you as in love with Claire Underwood as I am? Let me know in the comments (:

***

Check out my weekly-ish newsletter for interesting reads + some of my own existential musings on life, love, and inevitable human suffering, or help support what I do by sharing a cup of coffee.

The inspiration for these posts come from Andrea at Create.Share.Love.

Featured image via Unsplash

If We Were Having Coffee // Summer is Here!

Hello dear reader, and thank you for stopping by for a big of strong coffee and some good conversation. If you don’t mind I’ve been in the mood for iced coffee lately and I’ve got some already brewed in the fridge. For a special treat, I have a bit of coconut milk, the super sweet, delicious stuff from the can, not the carton kind. The weather is warming up and I have a feeling cold coffee and coconut milk will hit the spot.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that the school year has finally ended which means my kids are off and my route is done. This year was a hard one. This year I had a middle school route, almost all boys, and almost all having emotional and behavioral disorders, and they all hated each other. It is very hard to maintain order in a small moving vehicle under those conditions.

Despite the difficulties I really did like these kids. I always like those kinds of kids. I was one of them once and I think I understand them and can help them better than most. As I get older though I am losing my ability to see the world from their perspective. The world is a very different place than when I was in middle school.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that summertime means not having to go into work so early and not having to work on a bus at all. Since I am not only a bus assistant but a trainer as well I am going to spend the summer cleaning and cataloging all of our Special Needs equipment, making spreadsheets, stocking buses with supplies, and providing training for other employees. Summertime means I’m doing whatever I can to work indoors, in the air conditioning.

I’ll also be taking a bit of time off here and there. Summertime means I can make my own schedule and me and my Ole Lady are well overdue for a vacation or two. Right now we are planning a trip up to the Hot Springs. We went a few summers ago we’ve been missing those big pools of hot mineral water ever since. I can’t wait!

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I saw X-Men: Apocalypse last night and I loved it! I read some of the comics as a kid and I watched the cartoons but I never became a huge fan. (I did have a huge nerd crush on both Gambit and Jean Grey, though.) These movies have turned me into a real fan though and I find myself going back and trying to learn more about the characters.

I won’t give too much away but some of the events have me wondering about whether or not there will be another X-Men film and if it will feature Jean Grey and the “Phoenix Saga” type plot?

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I have been considering starting up a newsletter as a companion to this blog for a long time and today I decided to start working toward that. I signed up on Tinyletter (I want to keep this super simple for now) and began playing around with the design. It’ll be while before I start sending them out but you can sign up now if you’re interested.

Right now I’d like to combine my Saturday round-ups and something like these coffee shares into a simple weekly letter people can read right in their inbox. Of course, I’ll eventually be featuring my zines and chapbooks too, whenever I get around to putting them together.

I also have a little bit of good news but I can’t tell you what it is yet. I know, I shouldn’t have brought it up then but this good news was very encouraging and because of it I am rethinking the direction of my writing. I am actively searching now for places to submit work and a more and more of my writing time will be geared toward that, the newsletter, and my own zine.

I promise I’ll tell you the news next week but it is only a tiny bit of news so don’t get too excited or anything.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that my coffee is drunk and that means it is time for me to go. I’ve enjoyed chatting with you very much but I have a lot more cleaning to do and a visit with my family in a little while.

If you have a moment I’d love if you dropped a note in the comments and let me know what you’ve been up to. If you wrote a coffee chat post of your own you can leave the link and I’ll give it a read.

Good luck in the week ahead :)

Look at this adorable dork 🐶

A post shared by Lisa Blair (@zenandpi) on

Featured image via Unsplash

Feet and Paws and a Good Patch of Grass

My puppy, Lola, loves to go outside. So even though I am tired, even though it’s hot out, and even though I am busy, I have to take her. If I don’t she will become an absolute terror in the house. She’ll find things to get into and she will run circles through the kitchen and jump all over the furniture. Taking her outside is better for everyone.

Despite that I am never really “in the mood” to take her outside. Like I said, I’m tired, it’s hot, and I have other things to do, but as soon as we get out there I can’t help but be cheered by her obvious happiness at being outdoors. Her tail is wagging, she’s panting and tugging at the leash. She wants to feel some grass under her paws!

Outside everything smells so good and the ground is littered with a million edible things. There are rabbits, and birds, and other dogs to run after and if she’s good I will let her run off leash in the tennis court or the grassy area behind it.

We go to the grassy area a lot.

Lola’s favorite thing in the whole world is the feel of grass.

When her paws hit grass she changes, she becomes confident and free. She becomes half-wild too. She tries to run and jump while still on leash and it can be hard to calm her down enough to unclip the leash. Once free she runs through the grass, she eats the grass, she digs it up, she rubs her face and, eventually, her whole body in it. It’s annoying sometimes but it’s also pretty cute.

I try to get her out in the grass at least once a day. I know she needs it and because she loves me so damn much and tries to be a good dog I figure it’s the least I can do. She deserves it.

One thing I have learned since having Lola is how to appreciate a good patch of grass. Her excitement gets me excited and next thing I know I’m running through the grass right along with her. She runs circles and figure eight’s around me while I try my best to catch her. I’ll throw a ball or a stick and the game turns into one of “keep away”.

Eventually she gets tired, especially if I mess up and forget to bring water (whoopsie). She’ll stop quickly and lay down, panting hard and looking like the happiest dog in the world. I always lay next to her, which is a pretty big deal because I am afraid of bugs. Then she rolls over for belly rubs. Once she’s rested enough we begin the running game again. We do this a few times before I start to get afraid she will get too comfortable off leash and run away.

One the walk back home and she is happy and content. and much more well behaved. I look at her and wish I could be so happy in life.

You see, dogs teach us to be happy with what we have, wherever we are. For them, gratitude is an instinct. I wish I could be content with nothing more then a patch of grass. I wish I was happy to run in circles and dig holes. I wish I didn’t need anything else. Then again maybe I don’t need more than that. Maybe I am the one complicating things. Maybe all we need to feel true happiness is nothing more than a cool patch of grass to run in.

Then again my dog eats her own puke, what does she know?

IMG_20150809_084449

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Beneath Your Feet”

If We Were Having Coffee – It’s Still Summer, Sort of

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am feeling very tired, have been for a while now. I hope you’ll forgive me if I am a little quieter than usual. I promise I am excited to see you, I’m just in desperate need of a good nights sleep.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that while the days are growing shorter and the local school districts are back in session this week summer does not feel like it is coming to an end. It’s over 90 degrees every afternoon and well into every evening. I love summer but the heat is starting to drive me a little batty.

I notice I am short tempered and exhausted much of the time and I have begun to question why I ever thought summer was the best season.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that this week was a pretty, well, boring. I worked a lot. We were running around with our heads cut off busy preparing for the start of the school year coming up this week. We had training to do, new buses to check, and equipment needed handing out. Our district is making some big, big changes and this has probably been the hardest, most chaotic, beginning to a school year.

I’m doing my best to just keep my head down and just get through it.

If we were having coffee I would motion for you to lean in close. I would whisper to you that something very big and very important did happen this week but I can’t tell you about it yet. It’s not that I don’t trust you it’s just that until there has been a formal announcement I can’t tell anyone. Next week I will though I promise!

 

If we were having I would tell you that the most exciting day this week was probably yesterday. We took My girlfriends little brother out to lunch and an afternoon of shopping. We are trying to spend more time with him now that he’s becoming a teenager and is dealing with all the difficulty surrounding that. He often seems sad and frustrated and I think some regular time out with us to just relax and not worry about anything will be good for him.

Plus he’s just fun to be around, for a fourteen year old anyway :)

After that we went to a free showing of Night of the Living Dead, the 1968 version. Our new favorite movie theater, the Alamo Drafthouse, was playing it. We got there a couple hours early to make sure we got tickets so we killed some time by doing some more shopping and grabbing some dinner and some Starbucks for a pick me up. Then we just walked and talked and it was like we were teenagers again, dream out loud together about our perfect future.

 

Then it was zombie time! I hadn’t seen the movie, let alone this version and it was amazing! Might write a quick review of it for you later this week.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that after not having seen my family in a few weekends we are finally back to doing family day. Our schedules conflict so much and somebody is always sick or dealing with some kind of emergency and we end up going weeks without seeing each other. We do text a lot though and we interact on Facebook but it’s not the same. I miss seeing their faces.

I had better get going so I can get ready to head out and see them. I appreciate you stopping by to catch up and I hope your week was a good one. I’d like to hear about it either way in the comments :)

 

Featured image via Pexels

If We Were Having Coffee – I’m Having a Pretty Good Summer So Far

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am loving my summer so far. Despite the intense heat, my allergies, and the crazy amount of mosquito bites I’ve gotten, this is definitely my favorite season of the year. This past week in particular was both a really, really good one, but also a bit of a bad one too.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that the bad was mainly because of my job. My boss has decided that some of us should rotate working at other locations and this past week was my turn. I absolutely hated it. The main problem was there wasn’t really any work for me to do there. This doesn’t sound bad except I wasn’t allowed to work on personal projects either, including this blog. That means I was very, very bored for much of the time.

Of course I did sneak some writing in and worked on organizing my drafts and outlining more posts. I also got through a bunch of articles I had saved for tips, inspiration, and ideas. I still have a bunch more to get through but it was progress. I also set up Evernote to try to organize my thoughts better and downloaded the a new to-do app to remind myself of what writing needs to be done when.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that this upcoming year at work is going to be one where I focus more on me and my time then on work. I have already told my boss I am going to stop doing extra duties and I am going to work less hours. Thankfully, he is understanding.

I am working on getting a plan together before summer is over so that I can start making some money on the side and maybe, possible, hopefully, one day leave my day job. I want write a little book of essays, and maybe a book of advice for girls (inspired by my little sister), and start up my own Zine. I also have an idea for a cute, little web comic I’d like to put together.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that the other reason this past week was a bit bad is because my swamp cooler is still out of commission. Every day my house feels like the inside of an oven. We are getting through it the best we can by using fans and blocking out our windows but there is only so much we can do. The heat gets in eventually and sits in the house until about 6 or 7 o’ clock at night when the cooler breeze begins to come in.

Luckily I found a place online that sells replacement parts for the model of swamp cooler I have and they arrived just this weekend. Now I just have to fix the damn thing and we should be good for the rest of the summer. I just hope it really will be as easy as I think it will, but if I’ve learned anything at all since owning a home it’s that no repair ever goes as fast or as easily as you think it will.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that this was also a really good week too. My girlfriend was off from work again and did a lot of work on the front yard. There is still a lot to do but she has made more progress than I ever could have and I am so proud of her. We will continue to work on it in the evenings this week and hopefully soon I will have a brand new, beautiful yard.

And we will be one step closer to being able to finally sell, or rent out, this place.

We have decided that as exciting as owning a single family home is, it is too much work and this is too much space. We want to find us a cute town home or condo instead. Something smaller that requires less work on our part and something in a better part of town would be really nice.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that we have also gotten to go out and let loose with our amazing friends more. One thing I love about this city is the summertime night life. The evenings are cool but still warm enough to be outside without a jacket. Every Friday and Saturday night here there is an exodus from the outer suburbs into the heart of Denver city where the bars line the streets and you can walk from one to another.

You meet new people every weekend and everyone is so friendly. It feels like the whole city is enjoying on big party together. There are rarely any big fights or problems, we all love our city and we all just want to have a good time.

Our friends have just been amazing. They’ve us new places and opened their homes to us. We have gotten to know them all well and it finally feels like I am among those lucky people who can say I have my own group of friends. People who enjoy my company and look forward to having me around. They have also offered to help us with house work, weeding planning, and just about anything else we need.

We are truly grateful to have them.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am very much hoping this coming week will be even better than the last. I’ll be back working at my usual location with all my friends. Plus we have my nephews birthday to look forward to on the 4th of July as well as the fireworks. I’m going to try to get some time by a pool in too. Then spending more time enjoying good drinks and good friends downtown.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am feeling good and I hope you are too. I hope your summer so far has been a good one and I hope it continues to be. I would tell you that, as always, I appreciate you stopping by, I enjoy our little coffee chats very much.

Until next time :)

Original image by Suzette – http://www.suzette.nu from Arnhem, Netherlands (Cologne/Keulen Summer ’09) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

If We Were Having (Iced) Coffee – It’s Pride Weekend and It’s Hot!

If we were having coffee I would probably be overly excited about seeing you. I haven’t gotten out of the house much and with my girlfriend having been out of town I had very little human interaction. So get ready for me to talk your ear off!

If we were having coffee I would tell you that it has been so f-in hot around here! Every summer since we have bought this house I have worked hard to fix up our very old, and very rusty, swamp cooler and every year I swear we will get a new one the next.

This year I tried to get a new one but the price for installation turned out to be much, much more than I had anticipated and much, much more than I have to spend. So instead I am buying replacement parts and fixing that damn thing up again.

The problem is shipping is taking too long and we might die of heat exhaustion before the parts ever get here, ugh!

And my poor dog just looks sad and sits in front of the fan while panting. To help her out and boost her mood I’ve been making her banana, carrot, peanut butter frozen treats. It helps.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that while I was on my own last week I actually did accomplish quite a bit. I got a ton of house work done and outlined a lot of future blog posts. I worked on learning more math and watched a bunch of awesome TED Talks and other educational and philosophical videos.

I didn’t watch one TV show or movie the whole week! I’m pretty proud of myself.

I feel like my brain got a makeover and I was able to build some new habits. Yesterday morning I woke up and my lady wanted to lay around and relax for awhile and watch some shows on Netflix. I tried to relax with her but I felt really antsy. I wanted to be writing, or cleaning, or learning something.

My theory is that not having TV leads to boredom, boredom leads to finding something to do so you don’t get depressed, finding something to do leads to feeling better than if you had just sat around and watched TV, feeling good leads to wanting to do more stuff that isn’t watching TV.

I highly recommend it.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that having a whole week off of work was quite an interesting experience. I didn’t miss my job at all but I did miss some of my friends and coworkers. A few of them text, or called, or chatted over Facebook with me, and it was nice to know that even though I wasn’t around I wasn’t forgotten. I can’t wait to see them all again.

Unfortunately, my boss has decided that me and the other trainers must rotate working at another location and next week is my turn. I’ll be on my own out there which means I’ll spend another week missing my buddies.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I almost forgot to tell you that this is PRIDE WEEKEND! I love, love, love, our PrideFest here in Denver. It’s a two day event but I usually only go on Sunday’s to catch the parade. The Friday and Saturday nights before are for partying though.

We have a neat little gay hamburger place here called Hamburger Mary’s that I went to Friday night. They have delicious piña coladas.

Saturday night I went to a couple of very packed gay bars. One was Charlie’s which was full of guys and another was X-bar which was full of women. We went with another gay couple, a straight couple, a couple of bi’s, and a straight girl. Quite a mix of people and their different reactions to the bars was interesting.

This morning we went back downtown and watched the parade and sat under a nice big shade tree to eat nachos. We took pictures and bought a few things for the dog and then headed home. It was way too hot out to stay any longer.

If we were having coffee I would tell you I had better go. I really do wish I could stay and chat longer but I have Father’s Day plan with my girlfriends family. I plan to see my own dad next week.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Happy Father’s Day and Happy Pride everyone.