If We Were Having Coffee // Happy Traumatic Brain Injury Sunday

Hello dear readers! Thank you for stopping by for a bit of caffiene and catching up. I managed to break yet another French press carafe so we’ll be doing a bit of DIY pour over drip coffee today. Which is fine by me if it is by you. On days like this, when the clouds are hanging about that the temps are laying low, a bit of coffee and conversation will go a long way. On days like this, I’ll take what I can get.

“Life’s too short to drink crappy coffee and cry over [people] who don’t care.”

— Matty Healy

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If we were having coffee I would tell you that, I’m tired. I don’t know what it is but I haven’t felt very rested lately. I can’t get out of bed in the morning and my mind doesn’t work at all. I’m running on auto pilot and feeling so close to death I’m worried I might start craving human flesh. I worry there is something big and wrong with me, but it’s probably just the lack of sunlight, the time change, the weather, and the work. I think I just miss warmth, and leaves, and flowers, and the sun. Oh my God, I miss the sun so much. Sure it comes out but the days are too short and the air is too cold for me to spend much time in it.

According to days.to we have just 43 days to go until the spring equinox. Of course, here in Colorado that doesn’t mean much. Our weather is often erratic and unpredictable and we could see cold and snow into May, but we could also see Spring-like weather return tomorrow. Ground hogs don’t have much say around here.

I think this week I’ll make more of an effort to get out into the fresh air, even when it’s cold. A walk up the block, or around the lot at work won’t kill me, and the sun will do me good despite the cold. I need to get away from my desk, move my limbs, rest my eyes a little, and if it’s really nice, and my work load allows, I may get some writing done out there. I think that is exactly what I have been needing.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am one of those buzz kill Debbie downers who won’t be watching the Super Bowl today. I know it’s America’s sport and all that, and I know it’s not very American or patriotic or normal of me not to watch or to care, but, well, the sport is toxic and violent and I just can’t see the “fun” in all that traumatic brain injury going on.

I wrote a few words about it over on Tumblr this morning and I linked to a great video, article, and podcast episode of The Intercept there all about the violence and economic, racial, and political power struggles in the NFL. Even if you enjoy the sport, I hope you’ll check them out. Sometimes loving something means being brave enough to make it better.

I don’t judge anyone for their love of the sport. I’m not here to make you feel bad. Almost everyone I know and love will be watching today. Someone close to me will even be freezing their ass of at the game! I’m happy for them, and happy for the teams that made it there. I just wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if I didn’t say I felt for them too. I wish them a safe game. I wish them a future without permanent brain damage, motor impairment, confusion, suicidal thoughts, aggression, or dementia.

***

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the wedding planning is ramping up. We’re still lacking a venue, but we’ve settled on a budget, a brunch ceremony and reception, and a design for the “save the dates”. My wife-to-be is hand painting each and every “save the date” and I am setting up three venue tours for next weekend. We’ve already found ourselves fighting, crying, and wanting to give up and it’s only been a few weeks of planning. We’re staying strong though and trying to remember that after the guest list, the budget,the invitations, and the venue booking, things should relax a bit. We’ll have all summer to figure out the rest.

Somewhere deep down we are getting excited too and I do know that whatever we end up doing it will be beautiful. I know no matter how the day is spent, that it will be the happiest day of my life.

***

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that despite the lack of new posts around here, I actually have been writing. I have a ton of ideas and a lot of posts that have been started, I just haven’t had time to finish anything. So in the coming weeks you may see posts that would have made more sense a week or more ago. For example I have a post about the movie Groundhog Day half-finished and I was ready to toss it out but I had worked so hard, and what I have to say is important to me, so I am going to finish it and post it anyway.

I know as a blogger I am expected to be organized and timely, but as a person I am messy, forgetful, and sometimes just plain afraid. I’m trying to remember that this is my space, and I can do whatever I want. I can write about whatever I want to write about and I can post it whenever I want to post it. I have no reason to hide, or to give up on a message..

I have things I want to say, not just for you, but for me too, and I would feel like a bad writer if I didn’t follow through and say what I came here to say.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you that evening time is coming on and it’s time for me to get going and get ready for the coming week. I hope you had a wonderful and productive week, whatever that means for you. I hope you have a safe Super Bowl Sunday, and whatever team you root for wins. With that, I’ll have to take my leave, and my second cup of coffee to go, and wish you a relaxing rest of the weekend.

Until next time.

***

Thanks for reading! If you like this post check out my weekly-ish newsletter for inspiring reads + existential musings on life, love, and inevitable human suffering. Or help support what I do by sharing a cup of coffee.

Written for the #WeekendCoffeeShare link-up hosted by Eclectic Alli

Photo by Steve Harvey on Unsplash

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If We Were Having Coffee – January Wrap-up Edition

If we were having coffee I would be having just a big cup of plain old coffee. Nothing fancy for me today, no macchiatos or lattes. Just coffee and I want it strong, with lots of milk and sugar.

If we were having coffee I would probably remark that I am so glad that January is finally over. It is such a long and cold month, I started to fear it would never end. I look forward to the short month and moving closer to spring. This month should be an easy one, but I say that at the beginning of every month. There really is no rest for the wicked.

If we were having coffee I would say that even though I am glad to see it go January wasn’t all bad. I think I made some progress with blogging and writing in general. I posted more often, but not as much as I wanted. I started an editorial calendar, which I did well with for about a week before I started getting lazy. I haven’t abandoned it though, I have a ton scheduled for February. I moved whatever I didn’t get done over to the new month. Some of it even went into March.

If we were having coffee I would say that I am already behind in my goal to read more books this year. This month I only read two and I don’t even think they count since they were both tiny books. I read The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, and Show Your Work by Austin Kleon.

The former was only 45 pages, and the latter, was mostly pictures.

I did start War of the Worlds and Rant which I hope to finish this month. I also want to read a several shorter books for Black History Month. I have The Souls of Black Folk, Up From Slavery, Narrative of Sojourner Truth, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, and two books of African-American poetry.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I also have joined a new blogging event, “1000 Speak for Compassion“. The idea is to “get 1000 bloggers to write about compassion, kindness, support, caring, non-judgment, care for the environment, ect., and all post on the same day, Feb 20th.” I thought this sounded like a really nice thing. A time to talk about something good for once. I am all about compassion and empathy so this seemed right up my alley. I haven’t figured out the angle I want to go with yet but I’m working on it.

If we were having coffee I would encourage you to take a look and consider joining in. Take a look at the Facebook group and add your name to their long, and growing, list of participating bloggers. And If you write any posts about it use the hashtag #1000speak. I look forward to reading everyone’s posts on the big day.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am aware that today is Super Bowl Sunday, practically a national holiday here in the the United States, but I am not a big football fan so I don’t really celebrate the day. I don’t have any predictions nor am I rooting for either team. I will only be watching if I end up seeing my family (which I do every Sunday anyway) and they have it on. I do hope that everyone who is watching, or does care how this turns out, has a great time and enjoys the game.

If you’re like me and don’t celebrate the Super Bowl holiday, then I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

Monday is coming up fast and we’ll all have to get back to the hustle.